Follow a mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity. She will use this as blackmail, you can use it for birth control.
Young American Wisdom in 140 characters or less…
- My metabolism has betrayed me. I hate the bastard. #GiveMeBackMyOldAss 6 days ago
- My life is a continuous round trip to the grocery store where my list gets lost in produce & I end up pushing the cart with the bum wheel. 1 week ago
- @becomingcliche Lovely! Make that 2 more accounts I need to stalk. Thanks so much & have a great Mother's Day! 1 week ago
Don’t Steal My Stuff…my kids will cry!© Young American Wisdom 2011
Young American Wisdom by www.youngamericanwisdom.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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Monthly Archives: June 2011
“Where are my Bobby pins? Who took my Bobby pins? Why would someone take my Bobby pins?”
“Mom, just so you know…I didn’t do it. There was a cup of juice, that wasn’t mine, that accidentally spilled on the coffee table, but it wasn’t my fault. I just found it there, all by itself with spillage everywhere. … Continue reading
“Mom, Jay snuck into my room and stole all the gum out of my gumball machine.” Will-10 “No, I didn’t! I only stole some of it.” Jay-8 “Jay, you stole 98% of it. You left me with 2 pieces.” Will-10 “Will, … Continue reading
“Will, you can NOT let Mom put your sandwich in THAT container for lunch?” Jay-8 “Why not? I can’t eat a squished sandwich.” Will-10 “Why?!? Because it says, ‘Lunch-Munch, Yum-Yum’ and there are happy animals dancing on the lid. You … Continue reading
“Mom, why the heck is lobster so expensive? Do you think those lobster guys get a lot of money fishing for lobsters? Cause if they do, I might wanna be a lobster guy. I bet they make like a million … Continue reading
“Jay, the most expensive Lamborghini is more expensive than the most expensive Ferrari, which is more expensive than the most expensive Porsche…it’s true.” Will-10 “Will, I would definitely rather have the most expensive Lamborghini than the most expensive Ferrari.” Jay-8 … Continue reading
“Mom, there’s a piece of pepperoni in my cereal.” Jay-8 “Jay, you’re eating Cheerios. How would a piece of pepperoni end up in your bowl?” “Oh! Nevermind. It’s just my gum.” Jay-8 Yes, I know. Where did he get the … Continue reading
“Anna, this is your favorite song.” Jay-8 “No, it’s not.” Anna-11 “Yes, it is. It’s totally your favorite song.” Jay-8 “Jay! This is NOT my favorite song. I don’t even like this song.” Anna-11 “Yes, it is. Will, isn’t this … Continue reading
“Mom, I think it would be really cool to go to China someday. I hear the plane ride is really long, but Will told me that they give out free massages on the plane.” Jay-8 “Hey Will, did you tell … Continue reading
“Mom, I’m sorta glad I don’t live in England. I think I’d probably feel badly about losing the Revolutionary War. Do you think the British are embarrassed?” Will-10 He’s a very empathetic child.
“Hey guys! What should we get Daddy for Father’s Day?” “How about a Lamborghini?” Jay-8 “Until your rap career is up and running, that’s a bit out of our price range.” “How about a used Lamborghini?” Jay-8 “Still out of … Continue reading
I feel like I’ve won the lottery! Mel over at Dummies of the Year has honored me with his Top Commenter of the week award. Please head over to dummiesoftheyear.com to check him out. You’ll be glad you did!
“Mom, when I become a professional baseball player like Ryan Howard, I’m going to buy everyone in our family a Lamborghini. Won’t that be great?” Jay -8 It looks like I’m going to have a baseball playing, Lamborghini driving, ninja … Continue reading
“Mom, my new goal is to play in the NBA with Shaq. I’ve been practicing. I think they’ll take me.” Jay-8 “Jay, you can’t play against Shaq. He’s retired.” Will-10 “What!?! He’s retired!?! Why!?!” Jay-8 “Jay, Shaq’s old. He’s turning … Continue reading
“Mom, who made more money, the dude that invented the popsicle or the guy who invented electricity…what was his name again?” Jay-8 The dude that invented the popsicle owes his fame and fortune to the guy who discovered electricity. Without … Continue reading
“Mom, do you have any idea how embarrassing my life is? Don’t you know that in 5th & 6th grade kids are identified by their cell phones? And I’m stuck with Daddy’s stupid old flip phone. I’ve got a Samsung Lame…that means I’m … Continue reading
“Mom, can you pack me lunch today? And please…don’t make it embarrassing.” Anna-11 As parents, there are many ways we can ruin our children’s lives. The possibilities are endless. An embarrassing lunch, however, seems to have been overlooked and hasn’t been … Continue reading
“Mom, did you know that I’m actually closer to being 20 then you are? And, by a lot.” Anna-11 What?!? How the hell did this happen? I was 20 just last week…right? This must be some sort of cruel joke. Am I being … Continue reading
Mom, What Do You Think Would Happen If I Accidentally On Purpose Did Something Completely Stupid? And now I’m afraid I might die!
“Mom, I’m just wondering about something. What do you think would happen if I accidentally ate an entire bag of Skittles before breakfast? Do you think it would help me on my math test today?” Will-10 There have been an … Continue reading