Monthly Archives: August 2011

VIP Seating Only…giddy up, shorty!

Posted on August 31, 2011 by

“Will, you and your friends CAN NOT sit in the back of the bus. The 6th graders ALWAYS sit in the back and the 5th graders ALWAYS sit up front. It’s kinda-sorta a rule. You guys are ruining it for the 6th … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

No Paparazzi Please!

Posted on August 30, 2011 by

“Mom, if I were rich and famous, I would always wear a wet suit in the shower. I think it would be way too risky without one.”  Will-10 There seems to be rampant paranoia in this house. I bet they’ve been reading … Continue reading →

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Lady, Don’t Even Think About It!

Posted on August 29, 2011 by

“Mom, I want you to stand on the front porch                                                         when my bus passes, but please don’t look                                                                      at the bus and definitely don’t wave or shout out.” Anna-11 I guess cartwheels down the sidewalk would be out of the question.

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

A Line That Divides

Posted on August 26, 2011 by

“Oh My God, Mom! You can Not be serious! Why would you buy those?  They’re completely stupid and weird. The ones I had last year were so much better, these stink! Do you have any idea how embarrassing they are? I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting, Plight | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

That Tooth Fairy Is A Cheapskate

Posted on August 25, 2011 by

“Mom, I realized something was up with the whole Tooth Fairy story when I found out kids at school were getting $10 bucks a tooth and all I got was a stinking buck…and mine didn’t even have cavities!” Anna-10 I … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Big Brother Is Watching You!

Posted on August 22, 2011 by

“Mom, are you positively positive there aren’t any security cameras in public bathrooms? Because if there are…I might ask you to put me back in diapers.”  Jay-8

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Kid, You’re Killing Me!

Posted on August 19, 2011 by

“Mom, no offense or anything, but I can’t hold your hand anymore. I mean, I still sorta wanna and I still really like you a whole bunch, but if anyone saw me holding your hand it would ruin my life. … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Excuses, Excuses

Posted on August 17, 2011 by

“Mom, when you were a kid, did you ever ask to go to the bathroom at school just to get out of class because you were bored?”  Will-10 …and then lock all the stall doors and sneak underneath? So tell … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

It’s All About The Wand

Posted on August 16, 2011 by

“Mom, it’s not like I want to get married because girls are weird, but if you made me, I’d probably pick Emma Watson. You know her, she’s that Hermione girl from Harry Potter. She seems like she’d be ok. Plus, I … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Why Would Somebody…

Posted on August 11, 2011 by

“Mom, this is gonna sound crazy, but I swear…someone in this house farted on my waffles. And, it definitely wasn’t me.”  Jay-8 With that, I bid you all farewell.  In approximately 2 hours, 58 minutes and 35 seconds, I will … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

It’s All Fun And Games Until…

Posted on August 10, 2011 by

“Time out, Jay! That’s a penalty. No biting. The score is 2-1.”  “Wait a second, Will! You choked me. I was just defending myself. Plus, you used your hands. Penalty on you. Score’s now 1-1.”  “Sorry, Jay. I was trying a new … Continue reading →

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My Favorite Vegetable Is A Corn Dog

Posted on August 9, 2011 by

“Mom, I’ve got a question for you…did the Hopi American Indians eat a lot of corn dogs? I hear they really liked their corn.”  Jay-8 For those of you who were wondering about the duct tape… Apparently, this kid takes … Continue reading →

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How In The Heck?

Posted on August 8, 2011 by

“Mom, here’s the thing I just don’t get…               how in the heck can Jay and Anna look                 just like Daddy when they came out of you?”     Will-10  “Go ask your father.”        

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Where’s The Duct Tape?

Posted on August 5, 2011 by

“Mom, can you help me? I need a permanent marker, duct tape, a flash light, a juice bag, some Goldfish crackers in a bowl and Will’s iPod. Can you put it in a box and bring it outside? I’ll be … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 21 Comments

You Say Lazy, I Say Relaxing

Posted on August 4, 2011 by

“Mom, I swear! The swim team coaches specifically said that we should rest up for the big meet this weekend. They said we shouldn’t waste any of our energy…that means we’re not allowed to do stuff like clean our rooms or extra … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting, Plight | Tagged , , , , , , | 19 Comments

A Brilliant Plan…Not!

Posted on August 4, 2011 by

“Mom, we’ve decided we’re gonna have a yard sale to sell off all of our old, junky, broken-down toys. I bet we can get a ton of money and then you can take us to Toys “R” Us so we can … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Have You Heard? Stupid Is The New Cool.

Posted on August 3, 2011 by

“Mom, Anna called me stupid. It’s true, she did.”  Jay-8 “No, I didn’t. You’re lying. I called Will stupid. So there!”  Anna-11 “Yup, that’s right. She called me stupid. I’m the stupid one. Jay’s just trying to start trouble.”    Will-10   … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

When In Spain, Do As The Chinese And Eat Spaghetti

Posted on August 2, 2011 by

“Mom, did you know that spaghetti is my favorite food? Well, it’s true. I think it’s pretty cool that spaghetti is just chinese food that comes from Spain. Ya know, I’ve always wanted to go to Spain…to eat the spaghetti, … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Why All The Fuss?

Posted on August 1, 2011 by

“Mom, I think you better check Jay’s backpack before we get to the airport.” Will-10   Backpack Contents 1.  Musket (Civil War toy replica) 2.  3 stuffed animals 3.  favorite blanket 4.  Rosary Beads (glow-in-the-dark version) 5.  old phone charger (without … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids | Tagged , , , , , , , | 21 Comments