“Mom, are you pregnant? I’ve noticed how much you’ve been eating lately.”
This is what I said…
“No…I am not, young lady! And listen to me, it’s never polite to ask someone if they’re pregnant…even your own mother!”
But this is what I thought…
“Hell no! WTF kinda question is that? Have you lost your mind, child? Didn’t you see me drinking a giant glass of wine while I indulged in seconds during dinner last night? So what if I’ve been a little hungry? Now leave me alone, you nosey kid, so I can eat my second cream cheese laden bagel in peace. Be gone!”
This is why I eat AFTER they go to bed.
The problem is they now go to bed AFTER me! They have this burst of energy around 9pm.
Hang on a second here…
snacking and ‘operating’ my keyboard at the same time isn’t working out as well as I’d hoped…
Isn’t it the worst when cookie crumbs fall between the keys on your keyboard?
How about “Are you feeling grounded? ‘Cause I won’t be seeing you outside your room until you’re SIXTY!” Yeah, I’d be a lousy parent, I admit it. That’s why I stick to animals – they can’t sass you back (at least in English).
The poor kid is forever grounded. You’d think she’d eventually catch on.
I’m starting to wonder if I’M pregnant……..
Damn carbs!
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve offered my seat on the subway to a woman who seems to be pregnant. Then I realize uh, no definitely not pregnant.
Oopsie! Did you ask the dreaded question, “When are you due?”
That is not a good question to ask. I’ve never asked that question myself but I remember overhearing a woman ask another woman when her baby was due. It did not go down well. I liked your What I Thought response Nancy. Fairly reasonable reaction I thought
Thanks, Tony. I thought so, too!
Terrible, awful question to ask. It never ends well…never!
If my kids knew about that connection, I’d hear that question a lot. And they always catch me sneaking food.
My boys are clueless. It’s my precocious daughter that comes out with zingers like that one. I’m thankful to have this blog to document these snippets of our conversations. I think it will come in handy in the future.
I always write down what my kids say. I think they’ll like to read it one day, if nothing else for a good laugh! I would love to have a bit of my childhood like that and I think my kids would love to read it and know I was once a kid too–shocker!
Oh, if they only knew what we were REALLY thinking half the time!!!! LMAO!!!
I’m so glad they don’t!
Nicely told off, do you fancy a role
Cheeky 
in My Gothic Realm? Nooooooooo
I said a role as in a job
I could use someone with
your direct approach to discipline
Androgoth XXx
I find that it’s harder to bite my tongue the older I get! This direct approach is a newly acquired talent of mine. Would have come in handy in highschool.