RING, RING…
“Hello?”
“Nancy, it’s your 78-year-old mother-in-law. Listen, I need you to tell me where I can buy a Playboy magazine.”
“Excuse me? Did you just ask me where to buy pornography?”
“Yes, dear. I haven’t a clue where to buy that sorta thing. Did you know you can’t buy Playboy at the grocery store?”
“No, I guess you can’t, now tell me…why, exactly, do you need a Playboy magazine?”
“I need it for a big neighborhood bash we’re having. We live in a
very progressive neighborhood, you know.”
“You’re right about that. Last week I waved to the gentleman on the corner. He was parked in his wheelchair in the driveway reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Try Barnes & Noble. They have a huge magazine selection.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. I’ll shoot right over after church. It’s our neighbor Joe’s 82nd birthday. He’ll be thrilled. He has Alzheimer’s and needs a bit of help remembering a few things.”
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
Pretty funny, huh? Cracks me up!
That’s my mom! Very “progressive”. Same women that sent me to church everyday, for a week, when she found Playboys in my room. I guess the devil finally got to her…
Big dummy…you should have blamed it on one of your brothers.
Sounds like the old joke – Two couples are having dinner, the gents in the dining room, the ladies in the kitchen. One wife asks the other “Aren’t you afraid that your husband might get tempted by all those young female student he teaches?” The other answer “Honey, my dog chases cars, but if he caught one, he couldn’t DRIVE THE DANG THING!”
Or the old guy being interviewed – “Yep, I’m 95, I still drink a quart of booze a day, still eat steaks ever day, still smoke a couple packs of cigarettes a day. Heck, I even still chase women – can’t remember what for, but I still chase ‘em”.
What a wonderfully thoughtful lady, your mother-in-law. By the by, my birthday is in December. Just a thought, if she gets a bulk discount……
Haha! Thanks for the laughs, John. I’ll let you you if she gets that bulk discount.
In my day, we didn’t have much porn because it took so long to carve it into the rock.
Yeah, carving porn into rock would be pretty tough. Back in my day, porn was drawn on an Etch A Sketch. You can imagine how pissed people would get when the damn thing got bumped!
LOL.
Is that all I need to do to get along better with my mother-in-law?!!!!
Give her the Fifty Shades of Grey series and a bottle of wine wrapped in a brown paper bag and send her on her merry way.
Better a playboy, than sticking Joe in front of a computer with all the “stuff” you can find these days. That might just kill the guy!
Heart attack city! I cringe everytime I google search.
what’s the address…i’m moving there immediately….
Pretty great, huh? Cooper, you’d love it…they all love to read, too!
Might need some help knowing what to do with that thing in his pants
I just hope I still have a sense of humor.
O-M-G! Is that hilarious or what?
My dad has Parkinson’s…..no long term memory problems there. Maybe I should get him a Playboy Mag to read in rehab. Wonder if they’d allow it? Though remembering what he did the day before can be a problem. Too bad he can’t forget the bitch that’s living with him…but that’s another story.
Maybe if you got him the latest Playboy, he would forget her!
Just remember that this creaky old Medicare card carrying senior citizen read the three FIFTY SHADES OF GREY books in a week! How many of you young whippersnappers can top that?………”Are you rolling your eyes Miss Steele?”
I still need to finish the second!
Wouldn’t it be smarter getting him a gardening mag so he can remember how to mow the lawn? Just saying
…or a subscription to Popular Mechanics, so he can fix the car.
Might be better to just forget some things!
You might have a point.