Tag Archives: Satire

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX

Posted on March 30, 2012 by

“Mom, did you know that it’s a well-known fact that most presidential candidates are addicted to eating their own boogers? They keep a secret stash behind their ears. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” It’s never a good sign when school … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

I Dare You To Jump

Posted on March 14, 2012 by

“Mom, you wanna hear something pretty stupid? Kids can’t jump off the swings at recess or they’ll get in big trouble. I mean, what if there’s an emergency like a fire or something? I think the school should think about stuff like … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 34 Comments

The Dreaded School Project

Posted on March 12, 2012 by

Other than a letter from the school nurse notifying you of a lice infestation in your child’s classroom, nothing rattles parents quite like the dreaded school project assignment. “Guess what, Mom? We’re doing a super fun project in school. It’s gonna be great! … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

You Should Agree With My Opinion

Posted on February 17, 2012 by

“Mom, I’m totally coming shopping with you! I’ll help you find something perfect. Trust me, I know what looks good. We’re going to have so much fun!” Anna-12 *** “Ok, Anna. Let’s hear it. What do you think about this one?” “Nah. … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 54 Comments

Fart on That!

Posted on February 9, 2012 by

“Mom, not that it matters, but I sorta told you Will would never read that book. I mean, c’mon, it has pictures of worms on the cover. The kid’s almost 11. The book’s completely unsophisticated.” “She’s right, Mom. No offense … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 54 Comments

Stop Clowning Around!

Posted on January 27, 2012 by

“Mom, you know how Jay will pretty much believe anything you tell him? Well, I’ll bet you 5 bucks and a pack of baseball cards that if I tell him it’s Clown Day at school tomorrow, I can get him to go to … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 36 Comments

James Who?

Posted on December 7, 2011 by

“Mom, did you know that there was some guy named James Buchanan that was President a long time ago? If you don’t know a lot about him, it’s ok. He wasn’t that good anyway.”  Jay-9 I found this on Wikipedia James … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

If I Were Independently Wealthy

Posted on November 4, 2011 by

I’m a daydreamer by trade, but sadly, I don’t get paid. However, if I ever find a sucker willing to pay me boatloads of cash for my nonsense, I plan on spending it wisely. I won’t squander it on jewels, … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 64 Comments

Ninja Dreams

Posted on October 25, 2011 by

“Mom, would you be so happy if I grew-up and got a job as a ninja in China? I think you can get that as a real job and make like a million bucks busting up bad guys.” Jay-8 I … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

I Heard It On The Bus: Part V

Posted on October 21, 2011 by

“Mom, guess what? I don’t have any homework because I did it on the bus. Did you know that it’s a well-known fact that kids who do their homework on the bus get better grades and have more time to play? … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

There’s A Rapper In My House

Posted on June 2, 2011 by

“Mom, do rappers get paid because I’ve been working on a rap song. Check this out… Boom chicka bam bam, looking through a rubber band. Boom chicka bam bam, looking through underwear. Boom chicka bam bam, I think it’s time to eat a … Continue reading →

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments