I Heard It On The Bus

“Mom, did you know that the human body is capable of living 225 years? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” Will-10

Now, before you get too excited about this new revelation, let me tell you that information learned on a school bus is not always credible, as convincing as it may sound. Here are a few recent examples of school bus theories that have been debated in my home. I’ll let you be the judge.

1.  “Mom, did you know that if you pull your tooth out too soon, you’ll grow an extra nipple? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2. “Mom, did you know that the cafeteria ladies spit in your food? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3. “Mom, did you know that if you eat your boogers you’ll get worms? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” 

4. “Mom, did you know that every time you hold your breath, your heart stops beating? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

5. “Mom, did you know that a human can birth an animal? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”   

6. “Mom, did you know that if you wipe a booger on the back of a bus seat, it will crystallize into a diamond over summer break?  It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

7. “Mom, did you know that Lady Gaga has a weenie? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8. “Mom, did you know that if you fart and burp at the same time, you’ll get brain damage? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” 

9. “Mom, did you know that if you use the railing in the stairwell of the bus, you’ll get warts? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom, did you know that the ‘F-Word’ means toothpaste in French? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”   

I Heard It On The Bus: Part II

I Heard It OnThe Bus: Part III

 

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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49 Responses to I Heard It On The Bus

  1. So pleased i came across this blog..will follow with great interest..thank you..ELiza Keaitngf

    Like

  2. John Erickson says:

    Wow. Some of those are just …. Wow. 😀
    I don’t know if I should admit this, but you can fart and burp at the same time without brain damage. That I’m aware of, anyway. And your heart WILL keep beating if you hold your breath.
    The rest…… Wow.

    Like

  3. Dad says:

    Unfortunately I walked to school. Perhaps that is why I am so dumb. I never learned any of that stuff.

    Like

  4. I seriously want to ride on this bus. I’m missing out.

    Like

  5. Lenore Diane says:

    Now we know where Wikipedia gets all its information.

    Like

  6. jacquelincangro says:

    Interesting…I heard # 3 and # 9 on the subway today. It must be true…I heard it on the subway.
    🙂

    Like

    • Jacqueline, I’m thinking about testing out the “crystallized diamond” theory in my mini-van this summer. I’m sure there’s enough boogers in there to surpass the Hope Diamond. Maybe this is something to consider on the subway as well? 😉
      I ordered my copy of The Subway Chronicles from Amazon. Can’t wait to read it!

      Like

      • jacquelincangro says:

        Thanks so much! I hope you really enjoy it. After you read it, let me know if you think the diamond theory will work on the subway. 🙂

        Like

  7. dragonfae says:

    LOL … #8 cracked me up!

    And I have to disagree with John … it may be true, but only for boys. 😛

    Like

  8. haha brilliant. No1 is true. Definatly

    Like

  9. mema says:

    My education was sorely lacking, but that’s what happens when you live a block and half from the school. I should sue those teachers because obviously that didn’t ride the bus either and knew none of these facts. Case in point, they told me that diamonds come from mines – Idiots. Fortunately, a kid who rode the bus told me about Lady Gaga or I’d have never know that either. Hmm, I wonder if there’s a “senior’s bus” that I could ride so that I don’t miss any more critical pieces of data.

    Like

    • The educatioin you receive on the school bus is really quite amazing. You should seriously consider a “senior’s bus”. It could be a cross between a school bus and a party bus. A place to keep seniors informed of current affairs, happenings and events.

      Like

  10. HAHAHA!
    Hilarious post! I didn’t hear that on a bus, but it’s still true! 🙂

    Like

  11. I want to spend an hour on that bus! (words I never thought I’d say)

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  12. JUst wanted to say a huge thank you,not every day I get to meet who is spending their hard earned cash on my wee book…I hope you enjoy folk of feodora’s lane…..thanks again…this was so very kind of you.. please keep in touch ..ELiza Keating xx

    Like

  13. Scholar Mel says:

    Woops, I tried #8. I hope I didn’t brain my damage!

    Like

  14. Pingback: Weekly Wrap July 16, 2011

  15. Pingback: I Hear It On The Bus: Part II | Young American Wisdom

  16. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part III | Young American Wisdom

  17. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part V | Young American Wisdom

  18. Lisa Wields Words says:

    I toothpaste love it! (It doesn’t quite work, does it?)

    Like

  19. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV | Young American Wisdom

  20. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI | Young American Wisdom

  21. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII | Young American Wisdom

  22. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII | Young American Wisdom

  23. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX | Young American Wisdom

  24. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part X | Young American Wisdom

  25. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI | Young American Wisdom

  26. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XII | Young American Wisdom

  27. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XIII | Young American Wisdom

  28. Pingback: Dummies of the Year! Weekly Wrap | Dummies of the Year!

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