I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

“Mom, did you know that if you don’t know the answers on a multiple-choice test, people say you should always guess ‘C?’ But, that’s a total lie…you should always guess ‘B.’ It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” Will-10

I bet many of you are wishing that you had this valid piece of information when you took those godforsaken SAT’s. Sadly, it might be too late to increase your score, but I’m hoping to enlighten you with the following important information. Where’d I hear it, you ask? I heard it on the bus, of course.

1.  “Mom, did you know that if you squirt a juice box up your nose, it will burn your brain and make you immature? That’s why so many kids are addicted to video games. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2.  “Mom, did you know that some people from foreign countries are taught to pee while standing on their heads? It has something to do with their religion. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3.  “Mom, did you know that if you make the bus driver really mad, he’ll put lice on the back of your seat? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

4.  “Mom, did you know that the best way to find buried treasure is to follow around a three-legged dog? They have the best sense of smell. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” 

5.  “Mom, did you know that if you pogo-stick naked during a rain storm, while holding a ball between your knees and chanting, ‘Small ball, please don’t fall. In the morning I’ll be 6 feet tall.’ you’ll grow 6 inches overnight? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

6.  “Mom, did you know that the best way to get rid of freckles is to eat your own scabs? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

7.  “Mom, did you know that if you accidentally get stuck in a nuclear minefield, you should take off your shoes and shuffle your feet? You should also use your cell phone to call your parents for help, but make sure you whisper. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8.  “Mom, did you know that if you sit on your friend’s toilet, you’ll end up marrying his sister? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”   

9.  “Mom, did you know that if you dig a hole to China, you’ll hit water halfway there and then you’ll have to swim the rest of the way? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom did you know that the reason most kid’s feet stink is because they’re addicted to eating their own boogers? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” 

What?!? You’re kidding me…you’ve missed the first two installments of I’ve Heard It On The Bus? Giddy up and stay informed by reading…

https://youngamericanwisdom.com/2011/05/23/i-heard-it-on-the-bus/

https://youngamericanwisdom.com/2011/09/09/i-hear-it-on-the-bus-part-ii/

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About youngamericanwisdom.com

A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

  1. Lenore Diane says:

    Part III is every bit as excellent as parts I and II!
    These are hilarious!! The lice? Oh my gosh!! Too funny. And the toilet seat?! Wow. Brilliant.
    Please make sure your kids continue to ride the bus – the information learned on the bust must be shared.

    Like

  2. Nonstepmom says:

    I feel your pain! I have an 8 yr. old who is now using “…a book at school said….” as her rock solid verification process for everything. I don’t know what books she thinks she’s reading, but I am fairly sure that every organism on earth cannot be traced back to stardust and there are no fresh water sharks in the lake where we waterski. I can only guess she was daydreaming during the explanation of the word “fiction”. [Sigh].

    Like

  3. I tried drawing a frownie face out of multiple choice answers once…
    not the best strategy. I wish someone would have advised against that on the bus.
    🙂

    Like

  4. cooper says:

    I think you have the makings of a WikiBusWisdom site…

    Like

  5. Damn SATs. Well, at least now I know about number 5! 😀

    Like

  6. John Erickson says:

    Right concept on #1, ‘cept it ain’t juice that you need to snort. Just sayin’.
    And if you can get all that going in number 5, you don’t NEED to be tall. Cirque Du Soleil is on the line waiting for you!
    We actually had a bus driver who got mad at a kid, and took him on a two-hour drive! Seriously, had the cops end up following him and everything! Then again, maybe the fact he had been institutionalised no less than 3 times prior to getting the job MIGHT have been a clue……
    And what happens if you’re a guy, your friend is a guy, and he has only brothers? 😀

    Like

  7. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    🙂 – I like what Cooper said. This is just amazing. SO much to be said from riding on a bus! It’s great to read a post and come out smiling… thanks!

    Like

  8. I really need to make Dimples start riding the bus. She’s going to have huge gaps in her education.

    Like

  9. So that’s why my daugher is addicted to video games. Curse you, juice box!!

    Like

  10. dragonfae says:

    LOL … this stuff is too funny. And I want to see the video of #5. 😀

    Like

  11. This is why I drive my kids to school, although think of all the knowledge I am missing out on!

    Like

  12. jacquelincangro says:

    Well this explains a lot. If I had only chosen “C” all of those years, I might have been Valedictorian.

    Like

  13. Tony McGurk says:

    I’d rather have freckles.
    I have noticed on “Who wants to be a millionaire” that Answer C does seem to be the most commonly chosen correct answer. I have even heard contestants say “If in doubt choose C” It’s true I heard it on the TV.

    Like

  14. I just realized: “I heard it on the bus” is kids’ way of saying “I read it on the internet!” I like it better when it comes from kids. 🙂

    Like

  15. MC/Curtis says:

    Best installment yet! Who the heck is on that bus with them?

    Like

  16. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV | Young American Wisdom

  17. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus | Young American Wisdom

  18. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part V | Young American Wisdom

  19. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI | Young American Wisdom

  20. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII | Young American Wisdom

  21. I’m so glad I drive my son to school and he doesn’t ride the bus! Kidding! These are hilarious. Even if my DS did hear these things at school, he would probably never repeat them to me, cause what happens at school stays at school. It’s like Vegas. “What did you do today?” “Nothing!” Thanks for sharing these!

    Debbie K.

    Like

  22. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII | Young American Wisdom

  23. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX | Young American Wisdom

  24. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part X | Young American Wisdom

  25. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI | Young American Wisdom

  26. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XII | Young American Wisdom

  27. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XIII | Young American Wisdom

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