“Jay, your birthday was on Saturday. Today is Tuesday.”
“Yeah, I know, but I’m still sorta celebrating and going to school ruins my celebration. I think it’s a little rude. There should be a law that a kid can take the day off. Ya know, so they can rest up from all the growing they did on their birthday.” Jay-9
Operator: Hello. Spring Valley Elementary School. How may I help you?
Me: Hi. Yes, good morning. This is Jay’s mom. I’m calling to let you know that Jay will not be coming to school today.
Operator: Oh, no! Is he ok?
Me: Well, the poor child is completely exhausted from celebrating his 9th birthday. I’m sure you can imagine how tiring it is blowing out candles and consuming massive amounts of cake and ice cream. And then, there’s all the growing that’s involved in having a birthday. It’s really tough stuff. Oh, and please tell Jay’s teachers not to bother sending home any make-up work because that would just be rude. He’ll be way too busy laying on the couch playing Xbox and building Lego guys. Well, I’ve gotta run…he’s asking for ice cream cake for breakfast.