Ninja Dreams

“Mom, would you be so happy if I grew-up and got a job as a ninja in China? I think you can get that as a real job and make like a million bucks busting up bad guys.” Jay-8

I don’t want to crush his dreams, but I think there are a few things he should probably consider before jumping into this profession.

1.  Ninjas are from Japan not China. I think.

2.  A million dollar salary as a ninja sounds a bit far-fetched.

3.  It’s quite likely that he could be maimed or killed.

4.  He freaks out at the sight of his own blood.

5.  He does not speak Chinese or Japanese. He can only speak a few words of Spanish, but I’m not sure how this will help.

6.  Years of watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should not be considered proper ninja training.

7.  He’s a disaster with chop sticks.

8.   I don’t think ninjas wear underwear…that can’t be sanitary.

9.   He’s afraid of the dark.

10. He’s not allowed to play with knives.



A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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49 Responses to Ninja Dreams

  1. Tori Nelson says:

    Hahaha. The chop sticks are a deal breaker!


  2. Dream stomper! This is your chance to have him support you in your golden years, and you want to discourage him? Who knows, he could be the first Chinese ninja who wears Underoos.


  3. ryoko861 says:

    Mmm, yeah, not a good career choice at this point.
    My kids LOVED the Ninja Turtles when they were little. ANYTHING became a nunchuk. They were even ninjas for Halloween once. What is it about that that is so enticing to a young boy?


    • I’m not sure what the appeal is with the Ninja Turtles, but my boys LOVED them. For a few years, they walked around with Nerf swords tucked into the back of their shirts like sword sheaths. You never know when you might run into a bad guy in your backyard.


  4. Use it to your advantage and come up with the number of rules for ninja’s training – clean your room as ninjas do it 😉

    or enroll him to a Chinese language class 🙂 or Japanese 😉

    Crushing dreams is big in our house, my son calls us epic dream crushers…


  5. I wish I weren’t still so stuck in his way of thinking! “Why should I let these details get in the way of my living my dream?”

    Eventually I get around to “because I only want the dream, not the reality,” but it takes me a lot longer than I feel it ought by this age. 😉


    • It’s good to have big dreams…it drives and inspires us. Except when it involves knife wielding ninjas…that’s where I draw the line. 😉


      • John Erickson says:

        You know, I just realised I have something that would work for “knife” training. It’s an all steel claymore (the type of sword, not the military mine) that weighs over 20 pounds, and the edges are dull. Tell him if he can carry it around for a full day. he can go as a ninja with the sword. betcha he can’t lift his arms after about 4 hours!


  6. Doc says:

    Wow! Just like a mother to stifle a kids dreams. I could have been an astronaut but my mother had to remind me I was afraid of roller coasters. (OK, so I was 32 at the time.) To this day I can’t see what one has to do with the other. Could it be that our mother’s have this need to keep us out of harm’s way even as we age and mature? Everything you state as a negative could also be seen as a positive. So he doesn’t speak Japanese. You don’t think there is a need for Spanish speaking Ninja? Your son is not allowed to play with knives? How short-sighted!


  7. Doc says:

    p.s. I love reading your posts!


  8. O. Leonard says:

    I’m looking for a job. I hadn’t thought of that one. I can’t use chopsticks either though. No Japanese or Chinese linquistics either. Oh well.


    • How are you with nunchucks, swords, knives and spears? Do you have a problem with the sight of your own blood? If you do, I doubt this is the right profession. How about a professional NBA player or a rodeo clown? I’ve always wanted to be a rodeo clown.


  9. Dad says:

    If he puts his mind to it, I think he could kick some a** in Japan. I was his football coach and I will vouch for him! He is pretty tough all things considered.


  10. cooper says:

    well, the first thing he has to master is invisibility. tell him that when he has that down you’ll enroll him in ninja-school.


  11. How come the green ninja wears all black?


  12. jacquelincangro says:

    Maybe we’ve got this all wrong. Maybe he wants to be a “green” ninja, fighting against environmental destruction.


  13. at the risk of soundi – er, typing, like an idiot…are you making up these things your kids say? no…don’t tell me. it’s fun in any event. continue…


  14. John Erickson says:

    As far as I know, there aren’t any Chinese ninjas – but the biggest shoot down would be the fear of the dark. Without darkness, a ninja becomes a samurai, and that doesn’t pay worth a darn anymore (all that inflation of the yen). 😀


  15. frigginloon says:

    “He’s not allowed to play with knives.” Hmm, well whose fault is that then? Oh come on, give him some knives to play with 🙂


  16. MC/Curtis says:

    Ninjas rule! I want to be a ninja too!
    Also Mr. Spock!


  17. Sandi Ormsby says:

    And you’re not worried that he’s anxious to “bust up” people? Okay, bad guys.



  18. dragonfae says:

    LOL … this is what? The 6 job idea in as many months? So if we ask him, will he tell us Mom killed all his dreams? 🙄


  19. They did try paying a million dollars but all the ninjas would retire after a year because they didn’t want to keep risking their lives once they were rich and had something to live for.


  20. Freaking out over the sight of his own blood would be a problem… Well, he’d just have to make sure he’s the biggest bad-ass ninja out there so he never gets injured, problem solved.


    • I also forgot to mention that he sometimes laughs when he gets nervous. I’m not sure a laughing ninja would be taken seriously. “Hey, ninja dude! What the hell is so funny? If you don’t stop laughing, I’m going to kick your ninja ass!”


  21. I think this is a fabulous life plan. Only a few obstacles to overcome.


  22. Karen says:

    A kid can dream, can’t he? 🙂


  23. Tony McGurk says:

    He seems to have a lot of negative points for his Ninja Resume that could dissuade any potential Yakuza employers.


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