Monthly Archives: November 2011

She’s A Very Freaky Girl…she’s a super freak!

“Mom, you know that picture in the upstairs hallway? Well, it’s gotta go! That girl has been freaking me out for years. She’s the reason I can’t sleep at night. Weird things have been happening around here and I’m pretty sure … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 54 Comments

A Thanksgiving Trinity…William Penn, The Great Depression & Pumpkin Pie

“Mom, did you know that a guy named William Penn discovered Philadelphia during the Great Depression? He’s the guy that celebrated the first Thanksgiving by inviting over a bunch of indians and together they baked the first pumpkin pie.” Jay-9 God, … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Actions Speak Louder Than Words…but hurt!

“Mom, Will grabbed my hand and made me punch myself in the face 3 times for absolutely no reason. Should I go tell him he’s in big trouble?” “What the fudge, Jay! That’s a bunch of crap! I was doing a … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Forrest Had Bubba, Jay Has Jimmy

“Mom, I think we should get a maid. One that comes here every day. I think it would be a lot more relaxing around here if nobody ever had any chores to do.” “That sounds great, Jay, but you might have … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI

“Mom, did you know that the best way to avoid having the principal sit with you on the bus is to NOT throw paper airplanes at the back of the bus driver’s head? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.” … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 54 Comments

The Mad Cow Dines With The Devil

“Will, you are so freakishly disgusting. You chew like a sick cow.” “What the heck, Anna! I can’t help it. It’s just the way I chew.” “No, it’s not. I know you’re doing it on purpose just to make me … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

This Is Your Face…and I hate it!

“Mom, Anna purposely tried to kill me!” “No, I didn’t! Jay’s lying. I just tried to scare him, not kill him.” “Yes, she did! Don’t believe her. She ripped the skateboard out of my hands and chucked it at my … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

The Pay Off

“Will, I’m sorry for hitting you with my cast. I feel really bad. Here, take this money.” “What the crap, Jay! You can’t go around cracking people with your cast when you don’t get your way. Look at my face! My lip’s … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

If I Were Independently Wealthy

I’m a daydreamer by trade, but sadly, I don’t get paid. However, if I ever find a sucker willing to pay me boatloads of cash for my nonsense, I plan on spending it wisely. I won’t squander it on jewels, … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 64 Comments

Sometimes They Make Me Crazy

“Mom, you’ve been doing way too much yelling, especially about stupid stuff like drinking our milk and tying our shoes.”  Will-10 It’s true. This has been a common theme in my house lately… “Mom, why are you yelling at me?” Because … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

Public Restrooms…God, I hope he washed his hands!

“Mom, don’t worry. I never sit on a public toilet. I just take my pants off and lay them on the toilet seat. Ya know, to protect me from all the gross germs.” Jay-9 Apparently, he has decided that this … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments