The Mad Cow Dines With The Devil

“Will, you are so freakishly disgusting. You chew like a sick cow.”

“What the heck, Anna! I can’t help it. It’s just the way I chew.”

“No, it’s not. I know you’re doing it on purpose just to make me mad. You want to ruin my day.”

“If you don’t like the way I chew, then MOVE…and take your horns with you!”

Will-10 & Anna-11

They say I’ll miss this someday. I would like to know who the hell “they” are and exactly what part ofย “this” I’ll miss.



A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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33 Responses to The Mad Cow Dines With The Devil

  1. Bearman says:

    When it is you and Dad in the house and him saying it isn’t as cute.


  2. Doc says:

    “They” would be me! What will you write about when they are gone? Or grown up? I’m sure it will be just as well written. But will it be as hilarious?


    • I have considered that. When they become sullen teens I plan on using my husband for material. I’m already secretly keeping track of his antics. Shh, don’t tell. He’s told me that he’s off limits. ๐Ÿ˜‰


      • Dad says:

        You all want to know a secret about Nancy? I got all the dirt, that is why she is nice to me on here. She will be nicer to the kids once they get a computer and can fight back!


  3. ryoko861 says:

    “They” are your older and wiser elders who have been there, done that, hear it all, “this” is the comical rantings and arguments of your off spring! I wish I the sense to document some of my kid’s unique exchanges in a word or notepad program. You’re kids are priceless!!


  4. LeRoy Dean says:

    “Kids say the darndest things” (Art Linkletter). I’ll buy the book you write. That would be me also. You will miss it…and so will your readers.


    • Aww, thanks! I know I’ll miss it, but sometimes the squabbling brings me to the brink of insanity. Writing it down has been therapeutic. I always have a good laugh after the fact and it warms my heart to know that others do as well.


  5. I had a childhood friend who used to chew like a cow. He’s pushing 50 now & still chews like a cow. Needless to say, it took him forever to find a wife. On the other hand, all the devils I grew up with found mates immediately. Even the ones brandishing horns.


  6. You know what else ‘they’ say, mess with the sick cow, and you’ll get the horns.
    That wouldn’t have made sense even if they really did say that.
    *sigh* I really thought I had something there for a minute. Oh well.


  7. Spectra says:

    You see, I remember all of these rotten arguments between bruthas and sistahs back in the day. So I steadfastly reminded myself never to continue with the daily agonies by having more kids, even if they would be my own perfect, silent, giving, loving beautiful offspring. I was more than slightly suspiscious that my own kids would pretty much be the same way as brothers and sisters, and I really needed a break after growing up with 9 kids in the house. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  8. i used to have pretty much the same conversation with my brother who used to chew with his mouth open, and make terible smacking sounds…the thought of it almost puts me off my dinner…almost. continue Nancy …


  9. Clever little jibe there, Will! As for your “they” question, Nancy, you might want to check this out for your answer:
    I promise I’m not being paid to endorse this site!


  10. dragonfae says:

    I’m guessing “they” are at least in league with the “scientists” who claim sugar does not make children hyper …. ๐Ÿ˜‰


    • Wait a second….sugar REALLY doesn’t make children hyper? Well then, I’m taking Bill Cosby’s advice and feeding them cake for breakfast. Maybe they’ll be more apt to get moving in the morning.


      • dragonfae says:

        Lol … I never said that. ๐Ÿ˜† Hell, I know it makes them hyper. When we’d visit my dad in Phoenix, we’d always stop at the gas station at the top of the last pass over the I10. Darling Daughter would be passed out cold, sound asleep on the road. She’d wake up when we stopped and want donuts every time. And every time, within 10 minutes of ingesting those sugar laden treats, she’d be bouncing off the doors in the back of the car. Sugar the youngins up at your own risk! ๐Ÿ˜‰


  11. Lenore Diane says:

    I always feel so guilty after I’m told, “You’ll miss this.” Yes, well – I’m willing to risk it …. please end the bickering stage. Your kids are very much like my kids.


    • The bickering makes me crazy. That’s why I sometimes throw things.
      We can be crazy together. Maybe we can be roomies in the institution. We can have cocktail hour at 6:00 and compare notes on how they drove us to drink. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  12. John Erickson says:

    I agree that you’ll miss the arguments, for inspired lunacy if nothing else. Pity you can’t DVR real life, so you can hit the “pause” button and appreciate these memorable exchanges in smaller doses…..


    • You can if you’re Kate Gosselin, but we all know how that ended. I’ll stick to blogging and keep my family together. ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Sharing these stories is very therapeutic for me. I love it when it reminds my readers of their own shenanigans. Aren’t we all a little nostalgic for our youth? I certainly am!


  13. Tony McGurk says:

    Once they grow up & leave home you miss all the funny things they used to do & say. My eldest son is 29, my youngest son is 23 & my daughter, now 26, got married yesterday. I can’t believe how grown up they all are now & when did I suddenly get so old…


    • Congratulations on your daughter’s wedding, Tony! That’s fantastic news.
      You’re only as old as you feel, right? You don’t feel old do you? I can tell by your comics that you’re young at heart. That’s what really matters.


  14. I love my children and I’m sure I’ll miss them when they are grown up. But Nora Ephron once wrote that the empty nest is underrated and I BELIEVE her.


    • Doc says:

      After spending the past week with my son (now 28) I have to agree with Nora Ephron. The empty nest IS overrated. I wish he never had to leave home. And I’m a dad! Wonder what the mothers of older kids would say!


      • I expect that this feeling changes when they stop flicking their dirty socks all over the house and remember to NOT wipe their cheeesy Dorito stained fingers on the arm of the couch. I mean your son remembers to flush the toilet now, right?


    • I know I’ll miss them. It’s just hard to imagine I’ll miss the bickering, but then maybe it never ends. Maybe they’ll always bicker at the Thanksgiving table over who gets the legs.


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