Monthly Archives: December 2011

Hungry for Havarti

“Mom, for New Year’s Eve can you make that stuff that’s really good? You know, that stuff with the cheese? You put the cheese in the dough with some other stuff and then stick it in the oven. When it … Continue reading

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Santa Has Good Taste

“Mom, I think it’s pretty suspicious that every year Santa fills our stockings with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, which just happens to be your favorite candy. So, what do you have to say about that?”  Wishing you all love, peace and happiness … Continue reading

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The Top Ten Good Ideas Gone Bad…A Year In Review

1. Thinking it’s a good idea to listen to your little brother’s idea that you both pee in your snow clothes to avoid the hassle of coming inside from the snow. 2.  Thinking it’s a good idea to pop a pimple … Continue reading

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We Got The Evil Elf!

“Hey, look! I found the Elf!” “I found him first, Jay.” “No, you didn’t, Will. I did!” “Jay, you’re lying!” “No, I’m not. You’re the liar!” “Yes, you are, Jay. You’re the world’s worst liar ever!” “Well, you’re the worst … Continue reading

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Brush Your Teeth, Brush Your Teeth, Brush Your Teeth

“Jay, did you remember to brush your teeth?” “Yup.” “Is that true?” “Nope.” “Please go brush your teeth. You’re going to miss the bus.” “Got it, Mom! But, don’t you just hate it when you’re in such a rush that you forget to brush … Continue reading

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Prank’d Not Punk’d

“Mom, we should pull a prank on Anna. Let’s wrap up a bunch of empty boxes for her on Christmas. Won’t that be hilarious?”  Jay-9 about his sister Anna-12 Dear Readers, Before you pull any Christmas pranking this holiday season, you may … Continue reading

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The Sandwich and The Boy

“Mom, can you make me a sandwich? I want ham, but not ham and cheese…I hate cheese. Use that kinda ham that’s pink and thin, but doesn’t have that hard stuff on it…I hate that kind. Use that bread that’s not … Continue reading

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Betsy Bags The Big Man On Campus

“Mom, I bet you don’t know who Betsy Ross’s best friend was?” “You’re right, Jay. I’m clueless. Was it Martha Washington?” “Nope. Guess again.” “How about Abigail Adams?” “No way. Not even close.” “Alright. I give up!” “A lot of people … Continue reading

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James Who?

“Mom, did you know that there was some guy named James Buchanan that was President a long time ago? If you don’t know a lot about him, it’s ok. He wasn’t that good anyway.”  Jay-9 I found this on Wikipedia James … Continue reading

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The Tale of the Purple Nurple and the Pink Tutu

“Mom, where are the band aids? Jay just gave me the worst nipple twister of my life. I’m pretty sure my nipple’s gone.” “Oh c’mon, Will! I hardly twisted. Plus, you sorta deserve a purple nurple for saying  you’re getting me a … Continue reading

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I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII

“Mom, did you know that on every bus there’s a book hidden beneath the seat in the 10th row, on the left-hand side? It’s a secret book filled with all the world’s bad words. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”  Will-10 I knew … Continue reading

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Another Bag of Money

“Mom, I need you to do me a favor today. I need you to take this bag of money to the bank. See if the people at the bank can turn these coins into cash. It will be easier for … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 41 Comments