I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

“Mom, did you know that the first piece of cheese was discovered in 1896 by a farmer in West Virginia? That guy had some sorta special cheese making cow that he sold to the government for a million bucks. That’s why we have cheese today. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”  Jay-9 

I think we should all give thanks to the farmer from West Virginia with the special cow. Without him, our burgers would be bland and our Friday night pizza would lack pizzazz. Now, let’s find out what else was learned on the bus this week. Please keep in mind that only 75% of everything you hear on the bus is true. Fact or fiction? I’ll let you be the judge.

1.  “Mom, did you know that the world’s biggest booger weighed 4 1/2 lbs and was removed by using a toothpick, pliers and a monkey wrench? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2.  “Mom, did you know that the best way to go up the down escalator is to skip a stair and go as fast as you can without falling and cracking your head open? Oh, and make sure to tie your shoes. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3.  “Mom, did you know that it’s actually healthier to eat dog food for breakfast than most cereals? They say it fights cavities and gets rid of bad breath. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

4.  “Mom, did you know that if you wear your pajamas to bed inside out, it will snow overnight and you’ll get a snow day off from school? If you also go commando, there will be a blizzard. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

5.  “Mom, did you know that it’s a well-known fact that the best way to get rid of a stuffy nose is to sleep with a week’s worth of dirty socks stuffed into your pillow case. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

6.  “Mom, did you know that starting this year, if you spill your milk in the cafeteria, the lunch ladies will make you lick it up? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

7.  “Mom, did you know there’s a law that forces bus drivers to tuck their shirts into their underwear? They do it so kids won’t make jokes about their butt cracks.  It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8.  “Mom, did you know that in some fancy restaurants in foreign countries, it’s considered good luck to let the waiter spit in your food before you eat? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

9.  “Mom, I need 5 bucks. Did you know that the reason some kids get all A’s is because they buy stuff for their teachers from the school store each week. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom, did you know that Michael Jackson used to fart into ziplock bags and sell them on eBay? People paid thousands of dollars to smell his farts. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

If you’ve fallen behind on previous installments of I Heard It On The Bus, you can catch up by reading…     

I Heard It On The Bus

I Heard It On The Bus: Part II

I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV

I Heard It On The Bus: Part V

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII

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About youngamericanwisdom.com

A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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60 Responses to I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

  1. Bwa ha ha! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Michael Jackson fart one was true. 😉

    Like

  2. Tori Nelson says:

    Hahahaha. You know what happens when one post contains ziplocked farts, dogfood breakfast, and infant-sized boogers? Blog magic 🙂

    Like

  3. Dad says:

    75% of these are definitely true and I never even rode the bus. I’d bet there are plenty of people that would spend thousands to smell Michael Jackson’s farts. If there was a way to bag the farts, #10 would be true. #9 is probably true – teachers love their pets. Unfortunately, I was too dumb to be a pet. #8 is probably true, there are lots of crazy cultures. #7? How does tucking shirts into the underwear reduce the fun being poked at the bus driver? Out of site out of mind? That would be naive on the part of the school board and thus very much likely to be true. I am sure enough dirty socks could cut through any nose clog, so #5 might be true. #4 could be true, but kids don’t realize that their parents can off set this by wearing their pajamas inside out. I have done #2 and that is true for sure. #1, #3 and #6 are all possible. If you hate kids, a great way to torture them without their parents around would be to become a lunch lady.

    Like

  4. madtante says:

    I’m with him on #3.

    Like

  5. O. Leonard says:

    My daughter once put air from Knottsberry Farm in a bag to take home. I later saw canned air from different famous locales for sale. I totally believe #10. Lunch Ladies totally suck, even worse if they were Nazi-nuns. You couldn’t eat corn with a spoon in my cafeteria. You could not throw anything away no matter how bad it tasted. You were allowed to upchuck in the garbage cans if you had to.

    Like

  6. Sandi Ormsby says:

    Mom, I TOTALLY belive it…for reals.

    OOOH….and if you say Bloody Mary 10X in the mirror of a darkened bathroom…you will summon something evil. Let’s do it!

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    LAke Forest, CA

    Like

  7. ANNIE says:

    All our boys would have made a fortune with the fart in a bag idea…..just ask dad

    Like

  8. ryoko861 says:

    Someone needs to go on that bus with a video recorder and get this shit on tape! You can’t make this stuff up! Kids will hear and say the funniest things! I’m seeing a viral YouTube video…..

    Like

  9. Mom, did you know that it’s actually healthier to eat dog food for breakfast than most cereals?

    Have they tried that one?

    Like

  10. MJ says:

    Ha! Government Cheese!

    Like

  11. You’ve got a goldmine, here.

    Like

  12. frigginloon says:

    OK, tried commando last night, whack that in the 25% not true basket 😦

    Like

  13. Jackie Cangro says:

    Plumbers and electricians should also be required to adhere to #7. Just sayin’.

    Like

  14. msmouse7 says:

    I’d believe them all, except #3. Every kid knows that dogs have really bad breath, so how could eating dog food get rid of bad breath? Come on kids — a little common sense please! 😉

    Like

  15. Scholar Mel says:

    The sad thing is that adults do this too. I heard it on the Evening News (Fox, ABC, CBS, NBS… take your pick.

    Like

    • You’re right, Mel! Adults do it, too.

      “It’s true…I heard Leslie tell Cindy that Suzy said her brother’s wife swears that she overheard two mother’s whispering about it at the bus stop 2 weeks ago. Seriously, it’s true!”

      Like

  16. #3 tickles me so much–that must be why my dog has such amazing breath! 😉

    Like

  17. again – you are a funny woman. continue…

    Like

  18. Goeber.com says:

    Funny blog! 🙂 I liked the one about the pajamas.

    Like

  19. hilarious as always! 🙂

    Like

  20. Hilarious, indeed!
    Almost as much fun as watching me try to successfully navigate an escalator. I can never get the ‘timing’ right… totally messes with my mind. It always takes me two or three attempts to jump on to/off of the silly things.
    🙂

    Like

    • I understand completely, Sig! I always have a mini anxiety attack before stepping onto a down escalator. I always worry I’ll misstep and tumble down the escalator, taking out a few mother’s, their children and a couple of 70-year-olds. 😦

      Like

  21. cooper says:

    #3 is accurate and the Michel Jackson one is marketing bonanza waiting to happen….

    Like

  22. Tony McGurk says:

    Dog food fights cavities. Great!!!
    My boss always orders pizza without cheese. He doesn’t like cheese. It just looks so weird without cheese on top. He reckons cheese isn’t good for you. But he smokes. Go figure???

    Like

  23. Binky says:

    If everything you heard on the bus was true, you wouldn’t have to go to school. Just drive around in the bus!

    Like

  24. MC/Curtis says:

    I think cheese was first discovered on a school bus. It was milk spilled in the seat crack that eventually mutated.
    I’m going to make some fake MJ fart bags to sell!

    Like

  25. The Hook says:

    Cool post concept!

    Like

  26. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX | Young American Wisdom

  27. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part X | Young American Wisdom

  28. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI | Young American Wisdom

  29. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XII | Young American Wisdom

  30. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XIII | Young American Wisdom

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