Fart on That!

“Mom, not that it matters, but I sorta told you Will would never read that book. I mean, c’mon, it has pictures of worms on the cover. The kid’s almost 11. The book’s completely unsophisticated.”

“She’s right, Mom. No offense or anything, but there’s no way I’m bringing that book to school. Seriously bad idea on your part…I say, fart on that!”   

Anna-12 & Will-“almost 11”

When things don’t go your way today, I suggest the following…

Out of milk … shout, “Fart on that!”

Empty toilet paper roll … curse, “Fart on that!”

Pants too tight … shriek, “Fart on that!” 

Broke a nail … cry, “Fart on that!”

Low on gas … yell, “Fart on that!”

Stuck in traffic … scream, “Fart on that!”

Boss makes you stay late … whisper, “Fart on that!” 

Forgot to defrost meat for dinner …  holler, “Fart on that!” 

Out of wine … whimper, “Fart on that!”

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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54 Responses to Fart on That!

  1. Of course, these are all hypothetical, unlike, uh, times when, uh, you are on the Pilates machine and you are trying an exceptionally contorted move and you, uh, actually do….

    Like

  2. Next year he will say “piss on it” instead.

    Like

  3. Lenore Diane says:

    Kid stamped and mother approved. I’m thinking I’d be fine with that …

    Like

  4. Hahaha…
    sounds like the kind of review that should be printed right on the jacket…
    ‘Will of the Young American Wisdom Times says, ‘Fart on that…’
    🙂

    Like

  5. Dad says:

    How about when you have gas pains? Perhaps nothing needs to be said.

    Like

  6. *giggle* I’m going to request approval to make this our official corporate response to adverse situations!

    Like

  7. As Cosby said: kids say the darndest things.

    Like

  8. Sandi Ormsby says:

    My husband, to avoid cursing, does in fact say “Oh, Farts.”

    You have to scroll back on my site ( a couple of posts) and see my GROSS factor post about my son. 🙂 I think you might be able to commiserate. 🙂

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, CA

    Like

  9. Goeber.com says:

    Looking at toilet … mumble, “Fart on that!”

    Like

  10. out of wine??? most definitely fart on that. continue…

    Like

  11. frigginloon says:

    This could catch on. I fart on that!

    Like

  12. I’m pretty sure, no matter what it is, Wonderbutt will have farted on it first.

    Like

  13. Androgoth says:

    There is a lot of Farting going on with this
    posting but if it works, then why not… Fart on That? 🙂

    Have a great rest of evening Nancy 😉

    Androgoth Xx

    Like

  14. muddledmom says:

    If my kids said this all the time, I would be at high risk of accidentally using it in the most inappropriate places: church, a conversation with the school principal, a job interview. Too funny.

    Like

  15. Carrie says:

    Let me assure you…they are going to HATE me at the office tomorrow.

    Sheer hate.

    This is good material here. Reeeeally good.

    Like

  16. Tori Nelson says:

    I love how the mention of an unsophisticated book is made right before the “Fart on that!”. I hear that’s French or something 🙂

    Like

  17. Binky says:

    What’s wrong with worms?

    Like

  18. ryoko861 says:

    Time to make dinner? Fart on that!!
    Have to clean and do laundry? Fart on that!

    LMAO!

    Like

  19. Sean Farley says:

    Kids, without knowing it (nor do we want to tell them for fear of growing big-headed), are brilliant. “Fart on that!” Who knew? If you think about it, it says so much in just three syllables. I’m almost inclined to plant a bug in a student’s ear at the school where I work, just to see where it goes. If it spreads, I’ll let you know and you can give your kids credit. 🙂

    Like

  20. Tony McGurk says:

    I’m home alone until Saturday. I have 2 day’s worth of washing up in the sink. Should I do it or just say “Hell No Fart on That!!!” Then let it build till Saturday & Michelle can do it after I pick her up at the airport.

    Like

  21. Friggin Loon says:

    OK, I have been saying “fart on that” all week and conclusion – I think anyone over 18 should avoid saying it at at all costs 🙄

    Like

  22. I’ve been a horrible blogger. We are in the midst of construction to fix the damage from the waterfall in my dining room. Hoping to catch up this weekend.

    Like

  23. starlaschat says:

    Good advice to Tony! Very funny post. I know I will be waitting for the right moment to say “Fart on that!”.

    Like

  24. Sharonda Sproles says:

    Gas pain is a bit nasty, gas pain is also quite painful in the worst cases. Some food supplements can also minimize gas pain. ,.***

    Kind regards http://www.healthmedicinelab.com/pain-between-shoulder-blades/

    Like

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