I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX

“Mom, did you know that it’s a well-known fact that most presidential candidates are addicted to eating their own boogers? They keep a secret stash behind their ears. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

It’s never a good sign when school bus chatter turns political. Let’s find out what else was learned on the bus over the last few weeks. Fact or fiction? As usual, I’ll let you be the judge…

1. “Mom, did you know the world’s oldest goldfish lived to be 41-years-old? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2.  “Mom, did you know that the lunch ladies at school purposely fart on all the napkins in the cafeteria before lunch because they secretly hate kids? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3.  “Mom, did you know that kids who eat strawberry Pop-Tarts for breakfast are more likely to remember their library books on the due date? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

4.  “Mom, did you know the world’s longest dog tongue is 27 inches long? The owners tie it in a bow. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

5.  “Mom, did you know that if you pop a pimple onto your test before turning it in, your guaranteed to get an A? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

6.  “Mom, did you know that excessive eye boogers is a scientific sign of intelligence? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”    

7.  “Mom, did you know that people who lie all the time grow pubic hair on their tongues? If you think someone is lying, just ask to see their tongue. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8.  “Mom, did you know that some people from foreign countries braid their armpit hair? That’s where they hide their spare house key. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

9.  “Mom, did you know that school janitors unscrew the toilet seats so kids fall onto the floor? They secretly hate kids for using too much toilet paper. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom, did you know the best way to avoid dying in a fiery plane crash is to tell the pilot before take-off that if he messes up, you’re probably gonna have to kick his a$$! It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

If you’re new around here and would like to increase your school bus IQ, hang out for a bit and catch up on past installments of I Heard It On The Bus. You’ll be glad you did

I Heard It On The Bus

I Heard It On The Bus: Part II

I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV

I Heard It On The Bus: Part V

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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50 Responses to I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX

  1. Jessica says:

    “Bad memory, premature old age, impotence, various sorts of eye diseases and nervous diseases are attributable to the heavy loss of [semen].” I read it on the internet. And thought of your blog!! http://flowerpick.hubpages.com/hub/celibacyandhealth The things people think!

    Like

  2. muddledmom says:

    The image of #2 is just too much. Those old ladies in hairnets. Really! The good news is, one of my kids is a shoo-in for president. ; )

    Like

  3. ryoko861 says:

    That addiction to boogers and the stashing them behind the ear? They’re called “ADVISORS”

    It’s true, I heard it on line at the grocery store.

    Like

  4. Lori-Ann says:

    By the sounds of it, my twin boys’ educations were probably lessened by the fact they didn’t take the bus. They are 21 years old now, and I hate to tell you this, but they still believe much of what they learned on their 2 minute walk from our house to their school; including how unfair it was that they weren’t chauffeured to school with all the lucky kids, who my husband and I fully believed we being dropped off at the door by limousine and waved off by Jeeves, but later discovered were dropped off in a variety of ordinary vehicles by regular folk like us who happened to live more than ten paces from the school door. Although things were different for my boys, I am quite certain the thing about braided armpit hair was the subject of their lunch time conversation. It’s a universal and timeless misinformation that lingers I guess. I’m still not sure if the lunch lady thing is just a rumor though.

    Like

  5. The stories we hear about the topics from the bus are so entertaining…the fact that they are talking about the presidential candidates is encouraging…isn’t it? Lol
    Loved this and can’t wait to read the others!
    Peach State

    Like

  6. cooper says:

    the political one wouldn’t surprise me….
    yer posts aen’t showing up in my ‘read blogs’ list anymore…hmmmm…and i’ve missed a bunch…rats

    Like

  7. O. Leonard says:

    Laughing out loud. I still say this should be a book.

    Like

  8. Jackie Cangro says:

    You should never discuss politics or religion at cocktail parties or on the bus. Everyone knows that. 🙂

    Like

  9. I am worried for these kids. They will get to the point were they stop believing the cool things learned on the bus

    Like

  10. Tony McGurk says:

    Those school lunch ladies & janitors just can’t be trusted. The braided armpit key hiding hair really cracked me up.

    Like

  11. dragonfae says:

    So that’s why I have a good memory … I love strawberry pop tarts! 😆 The goldfish one might be true … if not, it’s close. I know of at least one goldie that made it into his 30’s. 😉 And the key hiding cracked me up too! 😀

    Like

    • Really…into their 30’s? Now that’s impressive. The longest a goldfish has survived around here is a few months. In fact, I recently promised Jay a fish. Any suggestions?

      Like

      • dragonfae says:

        Depends on what size tank you have/want. I’m guessing you might be more interested in something fairly small and low maintence? What about a Betta? They’re usually friendly, interactive fish and don’t need much space. I’ve got mine in a 5 gallon tank but only because I love the tank and it’s too small for most other fish. A 2 1/2 gallon is spacious for these guys. 😉

        Like

  12. Do you know you have the wittiest and funniest kids ever?

    It’s true…I heard it on the bus.

    Like

  13. stephicakes says:

    Thank you so much for consistently making me laugh!

    Like

  14. As I sit here on the beach, I’m considering the possibility of…I Heard It On The Beach. Will catch up next week.

    Like

  15. George says:

    I gotta start paying more attention on the bus.

    Like

  16. Barb says:

    Hoot!!! When I was that age, I’m not sure if I would’ve known what some of those words meant, but I like the idea of telling any driver of any vehicle I’m in that if he/she crashes, there’s a butt-kicking waiting for them. Enjoy your vacation.

    Like

  17. Scholar Mel says:

    I heard a lot of cussing on my school bus. It was scary 😦

    Like

  18. Androgoth says:

    Best not to use the napkins anymore,
    I wondered why they always smelled of
    farts… Now we know why? 😦 lol

    Androgoth XXx

    Like

  19. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part X | Young American Wisdom

  20. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI | Young American Wisdom

  21. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XII | Young American Wisdom

  22. Pingback: Things I Have Overheard | The Life of J-Wo

  23. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XIII | Young American Wisdom

  24. Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I
    found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put
    the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and
    it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is
    entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

    Like

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