“Mom, did you know that it’s a well-known fact that most
presidential candidates are addicted to eating their own boogers? They keep a secret stash behind their ears. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
It’s never a good sign when school bus chatter turns political. Let’s find out what else was learned on the bus over the last few weeks. Fact or fiction? As usual, I’ll let you be the judge…
1. “Mom, did you know the world’s oldest goldfish lived to be 41-years-old? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
2. “Mom, did you know that the lunch ladies at school purposely fart on all the napkins in the cafeteria before lunch because they secretly hate kids? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
3. “Mom, did you know that kids who eat strawberry Pop-Tarts for breakfast are more likely to remember their library books on the due date? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
4. “Mom, did you know the world’s longest dog tongue is 27 inches long? The owners tie it in a bow. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
5. “Mom, did you know that if you pop a pimple onto your test before turning it in, your guaranteed to get an A? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
6. “Mom, did you know that excessive eye boogers is a scientific sign of intelligence? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
7. “Mom, did you know that people who lie all the time grow pubic hair on their tongues? If you think someone is lying, just ask to see their tongue. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
8. “Mom, did you know that some people from foreign countries braid their armpit hair? That’s where they hide their spare house key. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
9. “Mom, did you know that school janitors unscrew the toilet seats so kids fall onto the floor? They secretly hate kids for using too much toilet paper. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
10. “Mom, did you know the best way to avoid dying in a fiery plane crash is to tell the pilot before take-off that if he messes up, you’re probably gonna have to kick his a$$! It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”
If you’re new around here and would like to increase your school bus IQ, hang out for a bit and catch up on past installments of I Heard It On The Bus. You’ll be glad you did.
I Heard It On The Bus: Part II
I Heard It On The Bus: Part III
I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV
I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI
I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII
I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII
“Bad memory, premature old age, impotence, various sorts of eye diseases and nervous diseases are attributable to the heavy loss of [semen].” I read it on the internet. And thought of your blog!! http://flowerpick.hubpages.com/hub/celibacyandhealth The things people think!
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That’s hilarious! I bet that article was inspired by a conversation on a bus. Thanks for thinking of me! 🙂
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The image of #2 is just too much. Those old ladies in hairnets. Really! The good news is, one of my kids is a shoo-in for president. ; )
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Rumor has it they’re chock full of protein. It’s true…I heard it on the bus. 😉
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That addiction to boogers and the stashing them behind the ear? They’re called “ADVISORS”
It’s true, I heard it on line at the grocery store.
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Hahaha! So true…I also heard it at the bus stop.
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By the sounds of it, my twin boys’ educations were probably lessened by the fact they didn’t take the bus. They are 21 years old now, and I hate to tell you this, but they still believe much of what they learned on their 2 minute walk from our house to their school; including how unfair it was that they weren’t chauffeured to school with all the lucky kids, who my husband and I fully believed we being dropped off at the door by limousine and waved off by Jeeves, but later discovered were dropped off in a variety of ordinary vehicles by regular folk like us who happened to live more than ten paces from the school door. Although things were different for my boys, I am quite certain the thing about braided armpit hair was the subject of their lunch time conversation. It’s a universal and timeless misinformation that lingers I guess. I’m still not sure if the lunch lady thing is just a rumor though.
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Welcome, Lori-Ann! Happy to hear your boys heard many of the same stories. Thanks for sharing, it made me smile.
I agree, I think there might be something to the lunch lady rumor. 😉
Thanks for reading.
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The stories we hear about the topics from the bus are so entertaining…the fact that they are talking about the presidential candidates is encouraging…isn’t it? Lol
Loved this and can’t wait to read the others!
Peach State
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Welcome, Peach State! Crazy, huh? Kids will believe anything.
Thanks so much for reading and for the kind words. I hope you’ll stop by again.
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the political one wouldn’t surprise me….
yer posts aen’t showing up in my ‘read blogs’ list anymore…hmmmm…and i’ve missed a bunch…rats
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I have been having similar problems with my “read blogs” list. Most of the time I can’t get it to load. All that pops up is Freshly Pressed.
The political one is definitly true. I swear I saw Santorum eat his boogers more than once.
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lmao…
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Laughing out loud. I still say this should be a book.
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Thanks for the vote of confidence, Len!
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You should never discuss politics or religion at cocktail parties or on the bus. Everyone knows that. 🙂
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HA! Ms. C. beat me too it! Guess that’s what happens when I’m late for the bus!
🙂
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Hahaha! And no discussing politics or religion at the bus stop either. 😉
Sig, now your mom is going to have to take you.
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I am worried for these kids. They will get to the point were they stop believing the cool things learned on the bus
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God, I hope not. Then what will I write about? How I caught them sneaking out the window on their way to a late night party? 😦
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You might have to change it to Funny Things My Kids Say while changing my adult diapers.
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I considered adult diapers in an effort to avoid using those european toilets.
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Those school lunch ladies & janitors just can’t be trusted. The braided armpit key hiding hair really cracked me up.
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Can you imagine all the chaffing that would occur? You’d have to have some tough pits.
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So that’s why I have a good memory … I love strawberry pop tarts! 😆 The goldfish one might be true … if not, it’s close. I know of at least one goldie that made it into his 30’s. 😉 And the key hiding cracked me up too! 😀
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Really…into their 30’s? Now that’s impressive. The longest a goldfish has survived around here is a few months. In fact, I recently promised Jay a fish. Any suggestions?
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Depends on what size tank you have/want. I’m guessing you might be more interested in something fairly small and low maintence? What about a Betta? They’re usually friendly, interactive fish and don’t need much space. I’ve got mine in a 5 gallon tank but only because I love the tank and it’s too small for most other fish. A 2 1/2 gallon is spacious for these guys. 😉
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You’ll be happy to know we found him a cute blue Betta fish. It’s a friendly happy little thing. 🙂
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Cool! I love having our little Betta buddy in the front room so I can visit with him. 😀
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Do you know you have the wittiest and funniest kids ever?
It’s true…I heard it on the bus.
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…and completely nuts. Actually, I’m the one that’s feeling a bit nuts these days. 😉
Thanks, Carrie. I can always count on you for kind words.
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Thank you so much for consistently making me laugh!
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Aww! Thank you so much for the kind words. They made me smile. 🙂
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As I sit here on the beach, I’m considering the possibility of…I Heard It On The Beach. Will catch up next week.
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Sadly, I can’t walk and chew gum, so no vacationing and blogging for me. Thanks for the great comments!
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I gotta start paying more attention on the bus.
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Welcome, George! Happy to have you here.
It’s amazing the stuff that can be learned on the bus. Whether or not it’s true is another story.
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Hoot!!! When I was that age, I’m not sure if I would’ve known what some of those words meant, but I like the idea of telling any driver of any vehicle I’m in that if he/she crashes, there’s a butt-kicking waiting for them. Enjoy your vacation.
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Thanks, Barb. Vacation was great. It’s always hard to come back to reality.
I think the back of the bus is where most kids today learn all the dirty words. Sade, but true.
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I heard a lot of cussing on my school bus. It was scary 😦
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Tons of cussing on mine, too. You can get quite an education on the bus.
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Best not to use the napkins anymore,
I wondered why they always smelled of
farts… Now we know why? 😦 lol
Androgoth XXx
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Just use your sleeve. That’s what my kids do anyway. 😉
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Yuk how revolting 😦 lol Green
Sleeves and stinky Napkins 😦 lol
Androgoth XXx
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Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I
found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put
the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and
it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is
entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
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