I Heard It On The Bus: Part X

“Mom, did you know that the best kind of teachers are the ones that laugh at your jokes and don’t send you to the principal’s office? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

In celebration of the start of school and the return of the big yellow bus, I thought it would be fitting to resume my blogging career with the latest scoop from the back of the bus. Fact or fiction? I’ll let you be the judge.

1.  “Mom, did you know the way a person butters their toast tell you a lot about the way they play sports? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

2.  “Mom, did you know that if you fart on your sister’s pillow before she goes to bed, she’ll grow chest hair overnight? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

3.  “Mom, did you know that during the summer, most school bus drivers make voodoo dolls of all the kids they secretly hate? That’s why so many kids get sunburn over the summer. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”    

4.  “Mom, did you know it’s a well-known fact that listening to rap music before breakfast causes brain damage? That’s why you should always wait until after lunch. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

5.  “Mom, did you know that thousands of kids are hospitalized each summer for brain freeze injuries? Red freeze pops cause the most damage. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

6.  “Mom, did you know that some people from foreign countries like to tan their armpits? They consider their pits to be their best feature. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

7.  “Mom, did you know that most robbers live in tree houses when they break out of jail? That’s why it’s always a good idea to check the trees in your yard before you head to bed. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

8.  “Mom, did you know if you hold in a sneeze, you’re likely to rupture a testicle? It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

9.  “Mom, did you know that a blind, three-legged hamster is considered good luck? Especially when you carry it around in your back pocket. It increases your chances of winning the lottery. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”

10. “Mom, did you know that instead of taking swim lessons, you can sprinkle fish food on your sheets before you go to bed? In the morning you’ll swim like Michael Phelps. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.”  

I hope you all had fun and relaxing summers. For past I Heard It On The Bus episodes, click below. You’ll be glad you did.

I Heard It On The Bus

I Heard It On The Bus: Part II

I Heard It On The Bus: Part III

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IV

I Heard It On The Bus: Part V

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VI

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VII

I Heard It On The Bus: Part VIII

I Heard It On The Bus: Part IX

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About youngamericanwisdom.com

A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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30 Responses to I Heard It On The Bus: Part X

  1. I’m so glad you are back. I needed the laugh.

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  2. John Erickson says:

    So much … how shall I say this … INTRIGUING information. Though I would question the wisdom of carrying anything living in your back pocket for luck. It’ll only last until the first time you sit. 😉 Though the voodoo dolls one would SO explain my numerous childhood sunburns! 😀

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    • I bet the voodoo one also applies to a certain 3rd grade teacher I had once upon a time!
      John, how was your summer? I hope you were sunburn free.

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      • John Erickson says:

        Hotter than a hippo’s armpit, and just as humid! Lotsa long, hot days, with frantic periods of activity right around sunset trying to keep the yard tamed. Of course, the drought over the past two months has helped on that front, though my yard now looks like a before shot for “Hairclub for Men”. I’m thinking of not cutting it anymore this year, and just doing a huge grass combover! 😀
        Other than that, not much. Got my 6 month/6000 mile checkup at the doc next week, along with my 20th anniversary. Unfortunately, the wife can’t get much time off, so we’ll do some things locally, like hit a REALLY great Mexican restaurant. (Yeah – great Mexican in the middle of redneck-ville. Whoda thunkit?) I’ll let you know if the doc decides I need my valves ground or my tires rotated. 😉

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  3. ryoko861 says:

    I SO missed your posts! I was just thinking of you the other day and was hoping you start up again with your kids and their shenanigans! These are a riot!

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  4. Ahhh…a new school year…new things heard on the bus…and yet the kids haven’t gotten any smarter. haha

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  5. Oh, I was so happy to see your blog post in my mail box! Welcome back, Nancy….and blesses and best wishes to your clan as the new school year starts. 🙂

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  6. Welcome back – just in the nick of time! I needed a laugh!

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  7. Gooberandcindy.com says:

    I have done the voodoo doll thing.

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  8. cooper says:

    Welcome back. I’ve been lost without all the desperately needed bus-wisdom!

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  9. Lenore Diane says:

    You survived the summer! Welcome back. Your absence was noticed.

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  10. Meemaw says:

    Whew, I’m so glad, for Jay’s sake, that it’s mostly the red freeze pops that are responsible for the hospitalizations and not the blue ones. He really dodged a bullet there.

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  11. Never hurts to look for the sunscreen with the highest level of V.D.P.F protection you can get.
    So happy to see you back, Nancy!!!
    🙂

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  12. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI | Young American Wisdom

  13. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XII | Young American Wisdom

  14. Pingback: I Heard It On The Bus: XIII | Young American Wisdom

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