Monthly Archives: September 2012

I Heard It On The Bus: Part XI

I recently received the loveliest rejection letter from the editor of MAD Magazine for my submission of I Heard It On The Bus. I know, you don’t usually associate the word lovely with MAD Magazine or rejection, but honestly, their thanks-but-no-thanks letter … Continue reading

Posted in crazy kid quotes, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Does Medicare Pay For Playboy?

RING, RING… “Hello?” “Nancy, it’s your 78-year-old mother-in-law. Listen, I need you to tell me where I can buy a Playboy magazine.”  “Excuse me? Did you just ask me where to buy pornography?” “Yes, dear. I haven’t a clue where … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Insane Mom

“Jay, what’s this?” “Oh, that? It’s just a little something I’ve been working on. Hey, but don’t worry…it’s not about you. I swear!”   Should I be concerned?

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Are You Gonna Eat That?

“Mom, are you pregnant? I’ve noticed how much you’ve been eating lately.” This is what I said… “No…I am not, young lady! And listen to me, it’s never polite to ask someone if they’re pregnant…even your own mother!” But this … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 19 Comments

Answer Promptly With A Smile

“Will, you need to call Billy. The poor kid’s called here 3 times. He needs the homework assignment for English. Ok?” “Ok.” “Here’s the phone. Now remember, you can’t continue to call people and say, ‘Hey, it’s me. Who’s this?’ It’s rude … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Go Ahead, Quit Your Day Job

“Dad, does is totally suck to have to go to work everyday?” “No, I wouldn’t say that, but I’d much rather hang out with you guys all day. And, by the way, watch your mouth, mister.” “So, they don’t give … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Is Your Refrigerator Running?

“Will, did you take your cell phone, which is supposed to be used for emergencies only, to school and prank call your sister from the bus this morning?” “I did…we thought it would be funny!” “Who’s ‘we?’” “Everybody on the … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

He Ain’t No Fred Astaire

“Mom, if you make me sign-up for Ballroom dancing at school, I’ll be forced to run away, probably to Mexico and then you’ll be down to just 2 kids. I thought you should know.” Will-11 As tempting as this may … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments

Slightly Clueless

“Mom, I think it would be really hard to start-up a new country. I mean, think of how stressful it would be to come up with a national anthem. And, what about all the pressure involved in designing a new flag? I … Continue reading

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting, Plight | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

I’m Seriously Serious

“Mom, I always put an exclamation point after my name so that people will know to take me seriously.” I think there are more than a few politicians out there that should consider this same approach.

Posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments