Answer Promptly With A Smile

“Will, you need to call Billy. The poor kid’s called here 3 times. He needs the homework assignment for English. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Here’s the phone. Now remember, you can’t continue to call people and say, ‘Hey, it’s me. Who’s this?’ It’s rude and you don’t want to be known as the ‘rude kid.’ Right?”

“Right.”

RING, RING…CLICK

“What happened? Why’d you hang up?”

“I got the answering machine.”

“Why didn’t you leave a message?”

“I didn’t know what to say.”

“Will! We’ve been over this a thousand times! You say, ‘Hi. This is Will. I’m returning Billy’s call. He can call me at home when it’s convenient. Thank you. Good bye.’ This is simple stuff.” 

“I can’t say that! It sounds weird…like I’m trying to be a grown-up or something.”

“Well, that’s sorta the point, but go ahead and say it in your own words. Just be polite! Got it?”

“Got it.”

RING, RING

“Uh, yeah. Hey, um…it’s me. Uh, calling you…because I guess you called me. So, I’m calling you back for whatever reason you called because I don’t really know why. Ok? That’s why I’m calling you…to find out. So, uh…call me to tell me what you want. Ok? So, um…that’s about it.”

CLICK

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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19 Responses to Answer Promptly With A Smile

  1. Hahaha… sounds remarkably similar to the ‘greeting’ I recorded for my voice-mail.

    Like

  2. Sounds an awful lot like the responses I’d get when I worked our help desk. “This is John, you reported some problem with the system, please call me back with details”. And all I’d have on my voice mail when I’d get back is pretty much Will’s speech! 😯
    Guess that means the kid has a future with computers, right? 😉

    Like

  3. Maybe there’s a reason he doesn’t want to sound like a grown-up. Maybe Billy has a reputation for beating up grown-ups.

    Like

  4. That is exactly what Dimples sounds like if she deigns to leave a message – which is rarely. Probably because I kind of make fun of her messages.

    Like

  5. ryoko861 says:

    I can’t wait to hear what his greeting would be for the answer machine: “Um, hi, this is Will, so whoever you are or why you are calling or umm… just say something or call back later when someone is here to answer the phone.” Can’t blame him, I hate answering machines myself!

    Like

  6. Dad says:

    The kid has little use for formalities. He doesn’t see shades of gray….just black and white.

    Like

  7. Yeah, I’ve left some messages like that! It’s that thing where the first minute of your message sounds great, nice and prepared and concise… but then your inner filter doesn’t tell you to shut the hell up… so you keep talking and repeating the same stuff and giving them your phone number three times.

    Like

  8. Binky says:

    Well I guess he won’t be an annoying telemarketer.

    Like

  9. Androgoth says:

    Ahhhh the joys of talking to oneself 😦 lol

    Androgoth XXx

    Like

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