Art shows are the new rage in my home. The artist shows up to his event wearing his finest. He’s dressed to impress in a wrinkled dress shirt, basketball shorts, mismatched socks and loafers. Stray cookie crumbs decorate the corners of his mouth. There’s a good shot that he’s forgotten to brush his teeth, which I tell myself, isn’t due to his lack of concern over personal hygiene, but because he’s preoccupied by deep thoughts and creating creations.
The artwork is displayed on bedroom walls, hung lopsided with scotch tape and entirely too low for any adult to view without risk of a slipped disc. Instead of floating platters of hors d’oeuvres, mini bags of peanut M&M’s, leftover from Halloween, are chucked at guests. Unless you have quick hands, there’s a good chance you’ll end up with a black eye.
Ridiculously high prices are demanded, considering the artist is relatively unknown and the collection was created in less than 15 minutes. Sometimes the artist tells a poop joke or two. It’s a classy event.
Since you missed it, here’s a sampling from the exhibit. Prepare to be dazzled.
Rainbow and the Cheese
Stand Alone Cheese
Broccoli Sucks. Eat More Cheese
Cheese in Love
Psychedelic Cheese in Oil Pastels
Cheese Balls in Blue Bowl
And, of course, an art show wouldn’t be complete without a controversial piece. Let me present… The Nude.
In case you’re wondering, The Nude was the most popular piece in the exhibit. It went for $1.50 and will be used in next year’s Christmas card, as it bears slight resemblance to baby Jesus.