You Stuck What Where?

Will:  It hurts!Dumb and Dumber

Me:   Well, of course it does. Why would you do something so stupid?

Will:  Jay told me to. Am I going to be ok?

Me:   I’m not sure at what point taking medical advice from your 10-year-old brother seemed like a good idea. He’s the same kid who’s convinced you can make soda by farting into a juice box.

Jay:  Hey! I heard that. I was just trying to help.

Me:   I appreciate you trying to help, but telling your brother to use a turkey baster to remove water from his ear is not a good idea.

Jay:  It seemed like something a doctor would do.

Me:   Last time I checked, they weren’t handing out medical degrees to 4th graders.

Jay:  Actually, you’re wrong. In places like China, there are really smart 8-year-olds performing brain surgery. It’s true…I heard it on the bus.

Me:  Don’t believe anything you hear on the bus. And anyway, you’re not from China and you’re not a doctor.

Jay:  No, but it would be pretty cool if I was. I’d ask everybody to call me Dr. Jay.

Will:  Ow! You’re killing me!

Me:   Please hold still and let me put in the drops.

Jay:  Is his ear busted up for good? Because if it is, it might be sorta cool if he had to learn sign language. Then he’d be bilingual. I hear that helps you get into college.

Will:  Oh my God! Am I going deaf? I don’t want to learn sign language!

Me:   Calm down! You’ll be fine. Just promise that you guys will never do anything this stupid again. Got it?

Jay:  Ok. We promise, but just so you know, that juice box thing really works. I haven’t perfected it yet, but I’m pretty close. The last time I tried, I found a few bubbles in my juice.

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About youngamericanwisdom.com

A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
This entry was posted in funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to You Stuck What Where?

  1. I always love when you post, because I’m guaranteed to smile if not laugh out loud. However, today I find myself with a disturbed giggle, as I don’t really want to laugh at the pain. 😛

    Like

  2. dad says:

    Interesting coincidence…When I was 10, Dr. J was my idol. Now at 10, my son wants to be Dr. Jay.

    Like

  3. memaw says:

    I know I should to be doing the whole “compassionate grandma” thing to my poor Will since he has a turkey baster stinking out of his ear, but he’s going to have to wait until after I stop laughing.

    Like

  4. ryoko861 says:

    The juice box thing…let me guess…he heard it on the bus! That bus is pretty amazing. It’s the Wiki bus! Full of all sorts of information!

    Like

  5. Ah, yes…
    juice-box alchemy…
    🙂

    Like

  6. Remind me not to drink anything at your house

    Like

  7. Lenore Diane says:

    There is so much wrong with this post that it makes it brilliantly so right.

    Like

  8. Binky says:

    Everyone knows turkey basters are only used on turkey ear problems. He needs to get a kid baster.

    Like

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