Underwear Worms

Me:  Jay, did you shower?vintage underwear

Jay:  Yup.

Me:  Then how come only the back of your head is wet?

Jay:  I guess the front of my head dries fast.

Me:  Did you at least use soap?

Jay:  Yup.

Me:  Is that a true story?

Jay:  Sorta.

Me:  Are you wearing underwear?

Jay:  Yup.

Me:  Prove it.

Jay:  See?

Me:  Where’d you get those underwear?

Jay:  My drawer.

Me:  Well, that’s funny! I did laundry today because you didn’t have any clean underwear in your drawer. Let me see those again.

Jay:  Why are you so obsessed with my underwear today?

Me:  Because you have a sordid past when it comes to underwear.

Jay:  Mom, I’m wearing jeans. I’d never go commando in jeans. A guy could end up in the hospital for going commando in jeans. It’s just not safe.

Me:  Oh My God! I know what you did!wedgie 2

Jay:  What? What did I do?

Me:  Eww! You picked up Will’s dirty underwear off the bathroom floor and then put them on, didn’t you? Why would you do that?

Jay:  They sorta looked clean to me.

Me:  Jay! That’s disgusting! You can’t do that. You’ll end up with worms!

Jay:  Worms?

Me:  Yes, worms….underwear worms! It’s a well known fact that kids who wear dirty underwear get underwear worms. It’s the leading cause of death among 10-year-old boys.

Jay:  So I might die?

Me:  Well, I’d say there’s a pretty good shot if you continue to wear dirty underwear, especially other people’s dirty underwear. Going forward, I wouldn’t risk it if I were you.

Jay:  Mom, is that a true story?

Me:  Sorta. Now, go put on clean underwear!

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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20 Responses to Underwear Worms

  1. dad says:

    You know therapy is more expensive than wearing Will’s underwear. Also, Jay isn’t all that dumb….Will is pretty clean.

    Like

  2. debbie says:

    The best! Passing this on to my family …… Abby will love it : )

    Like

  3. JWo says:

    That’s awesome!! You totally took his “I Heard It On the Bus” and used it against him.

    Like

  4. I bet if you told him your heard it on the bus, he’d believe you! 🙂

    Like

  5. Michelle says:

    Underwear worms??? I have got to use that one in the future:)

    Like

  6. I hate getting underwear worms!

    Like

  7. Underwear worms, huh? Now I see where the kids get their creative streak from. 😉

    Like

  8. Irene says:

    Just the thought of that is just gross! My kids would never have believed me if I told them that. Now think about this…..some kid got home from school and said “Mom, did you know that if you wear someone else’s underwear you can underwear worms? It’s true, I heard it on the bus!” Uh huh, yep!

    Like

  9. Grannie Annie says:

    Which grandm other were you referring to….I’m wondering if I should be offended!!

    Like

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