Me: Then how come only the back of your head is wet?
Jay: I guess the front of my head dries fast.
Me: Did you at least use soap?
Me: Is that a true story?
Me: Are you wearing underwear?
Me: Prove it.
Me: Where’d you get those underwear?
Jay: My drawer.
Me: Well, that’s funny! I did laundry today because you didn’t have any clean underwear in your drawer. Let me see those again.
Jay: Why are you so obsessed with my underwear today?
Me: Because you have a sordid past when it comes to underwear.
Jay: Mom, I’m wearing jeans. I’d never go commando in jeans. A guy could end up in the hospital for going commando in jeans. It’s just not safe.
Jay: What? What did I do?
Me: Eww! You picked up Will’s dirty underwear off the bathroom floor and then put them on, didn’t you? Why would you do that?
Jay: They sorta looked clean to me.
Me: Jay! That’s disgusting! You can’t do that. You’ll end up with worms!
Me: Yes, worms….underwear worms! It’s a well known fact that kids who wear dirty underwear get underwear worms. It’s the leading cause of death among 10-year-old boys.
Jay: So I might die?
Me: Well, I’d say there’s a pretty good shot if you continue to wear dirty underwear, especially other people’s dirty underwear. Going forward, I wouldn’t risk it if I were you.
Jay: Mom, is that a true story?
Me: Sorta. Now, go put on clean underwear!