Anna: Mom, when do you think you guys will be home?
Me: We’re having dessert now. Why? What’s wrong?
Anna: Well, nothing serious, it’s just that Jay thinks he might be having a heart attack.
Anna: Yup, he says his heart is beating fast and his arms are tingly, but I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to call an ambulance.
Me: Oh my God! Put your brother on the phone.
Jay: Mom, when are you coming home? I’m scared.
Me: What’s going on, Jay? Are you ok?
Jay: I was fine until the part in the movie where the giant shark eats the boy.
Jay: I can feel my heart beating really fast. I’ve never seen so much blood!
Me: Put your sister on the phone…NOW!
Me: What the hell are you watching?
Me: You’re suppose to be babysitting your little brother! What would possess you to put on Jaws? You know he freaks out at the sight of his own blood.
Anna: It was totally his idea. He made me put it on. You know, it’s amazing how much better special effects are today.
Me: He made you?
Anna: Well, he promised not to get scared. He even swore it on the Holy Bible. Actually, he swore on an old dictionary because I couldn’t find the Bible, but I don’t think he noticed.
Me: Turn it off now!
Anna: Don’t worry. We only watched it up to the part where they blow up the shark. You know, I think Jay might have started sucking his thumb again.
Me: We’re leaving now.
Anna: Are you mad?
Me: What do you think?
Anna: I’m just wondering if this is going to effect how much you were planning on paying me?