Will: Mom, I don’t get why you’re so mad. I never thought the kid would actually eat the worm. And besides, he technically never ate it. He just popped it in his mouth and let it squirm around.
Me: Oh my God!
Will: And anyway, there’s no way I’m paying him the 5 bucks. The kid totally cheated.
Me: Will! I swear, if you ever dare your brother and his friends to do something like this again, you’re a dead man. I mean, think about it…what do you think is going to happen when he goes home and tells his mom he was over here chewing on worms? How am I suppose to explain that one?
Will: Maybe you shouldn’t answer the phone.
Me: You know what? I’m making you take that call. And for God’s sake, this is serious…stop smiling!
Will: I can’t help it. It was hilarious.
Me: What is wrong with you? There is nothing even remotely funny about this. Do you have any idea how many kids die each year from eating worms?
Will: C’mon, Mom. Nobody dies from eating worms. Haven’t you ever watched Man Vs. Wild? They’re packed with protein.
Me: Well, that’s where you’re wrong, mister. Thousands of kids die each year from worm eating.
Me: Seriously. It’s all over the news. Do you really want to live with that kind of guilt? Think about the amount of prison time you’d have to serve. And let’s be honest here, orange is not your best color.
Will: Hey! Now that’s just mean.