Tastes Like Chicken

Will:  Mom, I don’t get why you’re so mad. I never thought the kid would actually eat the worm. And besides, he technically never ate it. He just popped it in his mouth and let it squirm around.

Me:  Oh my God!

Will:  And anyway, there’s no way I’m paying him the 5 bucks. The kid totally cheated.

Me:  Will! I swear, if you ever dare your brother and his friends to do something like this again, you’re a dead man. I mean, think about it…what do you think is going to happen when he goes home and tells his mom he was over here chewing on worms? How am I suppose to explain that one?

Will:  Maybe you shouldn’t answer the phone.

Me:  You know what? I’m making you take that call. And for God’s sake, this is serious…stop smiling!

Will:  I can’t help it. It was hilarious.

Me:  What is wrong with you? There is nothing even remotely funny about this. Do you have any idea how many kids die each year from eating worms?

Will:  C’mon, Mom. Nobody dies from eating worms. Haven’t you ever watched Man Vs. Wild? They’re packed with protein.

Me:  Well, that’s where you’re wrong, mister. Thousands of kids die each year from worm eating.

Will:  Seriously?

Me:  Seriously. It’s all over the news. Do you really want to live with that kind of guilt? Think about the amount of prison time you’d have to serve. And let’s be honest here, orange is not your best color.

Will:  Hey! Now that’s just mean.

Bear Grylls of Man VS. Wild dines on worms.

Bear Grylls of Man VS. Wild dines on worms.

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A mother's plight to find the funny in the frustrating and save her sanity.
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7 Responses to Tastes Like Chicken

  1. I think you have your hands full, Nancy.

    Like

  2. Memaw says:

    Hmmm, I was going to bring over the cheddar corn chowder & the pumpkin cake for supper tonight, but I guess I could go out & dig up some worms. Do you think he’d prefer the big fat ones over the skinny ones? I imagine there’s more protein in the fatter ones. Let me know.

    Like

  3. There was an old song when I was a kid (which makes it a REALLY old song!), went something like “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I may as well go and eat worms”. Maybe Mr. Grylls just has some childhood issues to work through? 😀
    And you should, SECRETLY!, be proud of Will. Quite the little rules lawyer, he. “The kid didn’t actually eat it, so he doesn’t get the $5”. I sense a lucrative future for him, writing TV ad disclaimers……

    Like

  4. muddledmom says:

    I wouldn’t call you. I’d tell my kid to stop being a dumb you-know-what and don’t eat worms because someone told him to!

    Like

  5. granny1947 says:

    Thousands of kids die from eating worms?
    and you can back this up??? 🙂

    Like

  6. cooper says:

    Jeez – next you’ll be telling him that kids die from eating library paste…

    Like

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