Category Archives: comedy

Jackpot Jay

Me:  I’m not selling your desk so you can buy a poker table and put it in your room. Jay:  Aw, c’mon, Mom! It would be so epic. And, I’d get a mini fridge and fill it with soda. Me:  … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

It’s Crapping Up My Life

Jay:  Mom, I seriously wish math would stop crapping up my life. Me:  Jay, math is important. It helps your brain develop. Jay:  It hurts my brain, that’s what it does. Can’t I just skip it? Me:  You’re in 5th … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | 15 Comments

So, Tell Me About Yourself…

“Mom, I’ve gotta write a little autobiography. You know, it’s that thing where you write down a bunch of junk about yourself. Anyway, check mine out. I think it’s pretty good.”    

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 14 Comments

Jerry Garcia Has Seen Me Naked

Will:  Mom, what’s up with the strange guy in the shower? I hate how he’s always staring at me. Me:  Try not to make eye contact. Maybe you’ll forget he’s there. Will:  I’ve tried. I’m thinking about wearing my bathing … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

He No Speak Chinese

Me:  Alright! Which one of you thought it would be a good idea to smear your dirty fingers all over the inside of my car windows? You know, the same car windows I just cleaned? Will:  Oh, that? That was me, but … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

The Mama Lisa

Jay:  Mom, just so you know, I’m drawing your portrait right this very minute. Me:  Ok, great. Jay:  Try to act natural, just keep packing lunch. Oh, and while you’re at it, stick in a few extra packs of fruit snacks, would … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Boxhead Scallywags

I will most likely regret this, but in a moment of weakness, I promised that I’d give them a plug. Plus, they promised to clean their rooms. So, here they are making their debut on YouTube… The Box Head Scallywags. Keep your … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , | 28 Comments

No, I’m Not Dead

I’ve been a horrible blogger. It’s true. I mean well. I really do. Each day, I set out intending to hop on here and share some witty words of wisdom, but inevitably, I am sidetracked. Who would have guessed that this child … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, crazy kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Another Embarrassing Lunch

“Oh, man, Mom! You’re not making me bring that thermos to school, are you?” “Of course I am? What’s wrong with it?” “Look at it! It’s a crayon. You might as well send me to school in a diaper. I … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Public Restrooms…God, I hope he washed his hands!

“Mom, don’t worry. I never sit on a public toilet. I just take my pants off and lay them on the toilet seat. Ya know, to protect me from all the gross germs.” Jay-9 Apparently, he has decided that this … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

It’s Not My Fault…I swear

“Mom, just so you know…I didn’t do it. There was a cup of juice, that wasn’t mine, that accidentally spilled on the coffee table, but it wasn’t my fault. I just found it there, all by itself with spillage everywhere. … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, kids, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Non-Stop To China

“Mom, I think it would be really cool to go to China someday. I hear the plane ride is really long, but Will told me that they give out free massages on the plane.” Jay-8 “Hey Will, did you tell … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, funny kid quotes, Humor, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

The Sandwich

“Mom, can you make me a sandwich? I want ham, but not ham and cheese…I hate cheese. Use that kinda ham that’s pink and thin, but doesn’t have that hard stuff on it…I hate that kind. Use that bread that’s not … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Public Restrooms…God, I hope he washed his hands!

“Mom, don’t worry. I never sit on a public toilet. I just take my pants off and lay them on the toilet seat. Ya know, to protect me from all the gross germs.” Jay-9 Apparently, he has decided that this … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Armpit Etiquette

“Will, you should never ask someone to see their armpit hair…it’s impolite.”  Jay-8 “I know that Jay, but some people should think about cutting their armpit hair. That’s what I’m gonna do if mine ever gets too long.”   Will-10  I think Emily … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment