Tag Archives: Daily Life

Public Restrooms…God, I hope he washed his hands!

“Mom, don’t worry. I never sit on a public toilet. I just take my pants off and lay them on the toilet seat. Ya know, to protect me from all the gross germs.” Jay-9 Apparently, he has decided that this … Continue reading

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An Embarrassing Lunch

“Mom, can you pack me lunch today? And please…don’t make it embarrassing.” Anna-11 As parents, there are many ways we can ruin our children’s lives. The possibilities are endless. An embarrassing lunch, however, seems to have been overlooked and hasn’t been … Continue reading

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Mom, What Do You Think Would Happen If I Accidentally On Purpose Did Something Completely Stupid? And now I’m afraid I might die!

“Mom, I’m just wondering about something. What do you think would happen if I accidentally ate an entire bag of Skittles before breakfast? Do you think it would help me on my math test today?” Will-10 There have been an … Continue reading

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You Gerk!

“Mom, you need to yell at Will. He’s acting like a total jerk…a jerk with a capital “G”! Jay-8 He said it with such conviction that I didn’t have the heart to correct him. In fact, it’s certainly possible that he might … Continue reading

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The Hot Dog

“Mom, is this hot dog made out of dead dogs?” Jay-8 This is what I said… “Of course not sweetie. Now eat-up.” But this is what I thought… “Of course not sweetie. They’re made out of pig snouts and entrails that … Continue reading

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The Snarky Older Sister

“Will, you are so freakishly disgusting. I hate the way you chew…you sound like a sick cow.” Anna-11 to Will-10 I love the snarky older sister. She’s fabulous. Sadly, we don’t get to hear from her often enough because either: … Continue reading

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This Blogging Thing

I don’t have a clever kid quote today. It’s pretty hard to top yesterday’s and I’m not sure I want to. I’ve been at this blogging thing for a month now and I’m really having a fantastic time. I’m feeling … Continue reading

Posted in Blogging, Humor, Life | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

Simon Cowell

“Mom, if Simon Cowell is so rich then why does he always wear the same shirt?” Anna-11

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My Mother’s Twin

“Mom, did you know that you have the exact same hair as Steven Tyler? You could almost be twins.” Anna-11 …except for the fact that I’m not a 63-year-old, uber-famous, male, recovered drug-addict, rocker. Putting all that aside, there is … Continue reading

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A Comfy Chair

“Mom, this is the part I don’t understand about school…how come only the teachers get the comfy chairs? I think I would learn a lot better if I had a comfy chair too.”  Jay-8 I think the kid’s got a … Continue reading

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Driving Blind

“Mom, how do blind people drive?” Jay-8 Hmm…I never thought about this. I imagine this could potentially be an enormous problem. Picture the scene…you and your significant other are driving down the highway enjoying the scenery when you notice a … Continue reading

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The Listener

“Mom, I’ve decided I’m gonna change my ways. Instead of making you ask me 10 or 11 times to do something, I’m only gonna make you ask me 2 or 3 times. Would that make you so happy?” Jay-8 Sometimes you’ve … Continue reading

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The Royals

“Mom, do you think the British shave their armpits?” Anna-11 So here’s Kate Middleton, looking magnificent in her wedding gown. She’s the absolute picture of class and grace…stunning. And, my 11-year-old daughter somehow overlooks all of this and wonders if she shaved … Continue reading

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Eddie Haskell

“Hey Will, go inside and tell Mom she’s beautiful and see if you can get us a couple more freeze pops. Try to get me a blue one this time.” Jay-8 to Will-10 It looks like a modern day version … Continue reading

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The Wise Sister

“Jay, the fact that you feel the need to constantly draw on yourself with magic marker indicates to me that it’s likely you’ll be covered in tattoos and piercings by the time your 21.” Anna-11 to Jay-8 Maybe she has … Continue reading

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Bunny Tales

“Seriously Mom, a bunny? You expect me to believe a cute, fuzzy, little bunny is going to hop all around the world dragging along baskets filled with candy and trinkets to millions of kids? I mean, c’mon Mom…it’s physically impossible! … Continue reading

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Public Restrooms…God, I hope he washed his hands!

“Mom, don’t worry. I never sit on a public toilet. I just take my pants off and lay them on the toilet seat. Ya know, to protect me from all the gross germs.” Jay-9 Apparently, he has decided that this … Continue reading

Posted in comedy, Entertainment, Humor, kids, Life, Parenting, sarcasm | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments